Dear Los Angeles,

You know I love you. I do. I miss living in your sunny confines sometimes, though my heart has always resided firmly in New York.

But, seriously, you’ve got to stop trying to make Fashion Week happen. It’s not going to happen. We’ve questioned your motives on this front before and we won’t stop until you wise up.

To be honest, I thought we were done with this mess when IMG and the Factor brothers finally dissolved that poorly attended (and mouthful to say) Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at Smashbox Studios. I was wrong, and here’s the schedule. I know, it’s simply blowing your mind, right?

Spot the Angel: Miranda Kerr walked Balenciaga yesterday, looking tres Parisian runway appropriate and less like Orlando’s paparazzi-fodder lady friend. Not that that look isn’t gorgeous too. {StyleFile}

A Scent We’ll Never Buy: Kim Kardashian used to think perfume was made by putting flowers in a blender. She’s also famous for inexplicable reasons, including a sex tape with Brandy’s little brother. But she’s still got a fragrance deal. And I just died a little inside. Also, if those rumors about Sarah Palin getting a beauty contract are even vaguely accurate, you guys may have to institutionalize me. {WWD}

It’s Rick Owens Day Around Here: And we wouldn’t mind if every day was. I’m still dying over this leather jacket that I can’t afford. So maybe I’ll soothe myself with something from his collaboration with Eastpak. {Vogue UK}

photo from modelinia!Last night, at 8, I ran out of Julie Haus’ Kate Lanphear-styled show and into the madness that was Fashion’s Night Out.

The streets of Soho were packed with people who weren’t just shopping, but had properly decked themselves out for the Vogue sponsored occasion. From top to toe they rocked Balmain-shouldered blazers and chunky jewels with booties and their official Fashion’s Night Out tees.

I swung into Intermix, pre-Rihanna & Millers, where it was so packed that even though I wanted a grey Kain tank, I couldn’t make my way to the register. Outside I found Keegan Singh staring into space, more overwhelmed than I at the growing crowds. Then Eddie Borgo found us and I gushed over Jen Kao’s show (on which they both worked, more to come later). We split and I (stupidly) hopped in a cab uptown to Barneys, a veritable frat house full of models, socialites, designers and the most fashion forward children I’ve ever seen - all of them laden with shopping bags.

Now there’s no way the IMG folks, as in the ones that put on Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week, are happy about this development. BMW is partnering with MAC & Milk, that show venue that they’ve all been saying (in public anyway) isn’t a direct competitor to the shows at Bryant Park.

A fleet of 12 Beemers will be available to shuttle people from W. 15th to the Tents and vice versa. We’d love the free ride, though they’re sure to be as crowded as the Milk elevators.

But what we’d love to hear is how Fern really feels about this one.

Book Away: IMG’s S/S 2010 show package is out and ready to analyze—there’s plenty of fresh blood to dissect too. Perfect Friday before a long weekend time waster. {Models.com}

Hipster Historian: Spend a little time with Cobra Snake and discover when you might find him in Ed Hardy and Crocs. {All the Rage}

First Lady on Film: Looks like Carla Bruni-Sarkozy might be returning to the big screen in Woody Allen’s next movie. No word on whether or not she’ll be crooning as well. {WWD}

Who’s the Man? Topman. The men’s brand isn’t getting picked on by its big sister any more. {Guardian}

We love Sharpies here at Fashionista. They come in very handy with our graphic tendencies and the rainbow of colors they now come in is quite lovely. That said, we never expected to hear them attached to Fashion Week. But apparently, they are.

It was thought that perhaps MAC wanted to get out of their IMG relationship in part because of the overcrowded sponsorship mania that now goes on at the Tents. You know, with people like McDonald’s and whatnot. Um, maybe this is what they were talking about?

I will fully admit to being obsessed with The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Those ladies really made the most of their brief stint on Bravo and I anxiously await their return.

Sometimes lost in all the table-flipping drama were crazy Danielle’s two daughters. The first time I saw the older one, Christine, I thought she was one of the most gorgeous girls I’d seen in a long time.

And apparently so does IMG as they’ve just signed her. She told FWD, “I’ve never really done any modeling before, so I’m just learning while I have a chance and being guided by the best in the business. I’m also getting used to industry people looking at my face so closely!”

We’re slightly concerned about the crazy “mom-ager” situation that is sure to come out of this deal. Visions of Dina Lohan are dancing through our heads.

Irina Shayk’s already landed the cover of Jalouse and a career-making spot in Sports Illustrated’s Swimsuit Issue from 2007-09.

She’s also the face of Intimissimi and Guess, but she just now signed to IMG and they’re celebrating their new girl with much more than your basic measurement holding model card.

The video above is the most fun way we’ve ever learned of an agency’s new hire and we think it should be the only way from now on. IMG even wrangled (we’re sure it was difficult) their very own elevator operator to star alongside the Russian babe.

The first solid details on the tentatively titled MAC at Milk shows we’ve been talking about since the cosmetics company decided to end its partnership with IMG leaving Maybelline to jump in as the official makeup sponsor at Bryant Park.

And the initial list of designers signed on for events at Milk Studios is very, very strong: Proenza Schouler, Alexander Wang, Peter Som, Threeasfour, Vena Cava, Band of Outsiders, Adam Lippes, Altuzarra, Barbara Tfank, Costello Tagliapietra, Erin Fetherston, Pamela Love, Preen and Temperley London.

The venerable Fashion Calendar, published as always by Ruth Finley, will give us the first look at the lineup (so far) for September’s New York shows and presentations when it publishes this Friday.

WWD reports this morning that Tory Burch will show for the first time in the tents and that Betsey, Marchesa, and Monique Lhullier (among others) will again opt for presentations.

All that buzz was right (as usual), MAC’s officially out at the tents, marking the first major SS10 Fashion Week announcement, and Maybelline’s officially in.

This season, one of two left at Bryant Park before IMG pitches its tents uptown at Lincoln Center, will be orchestrated by Maybelline’s global makeup artist, Charlotte Willer. She’ll lead the backstage teams for all the shows at the tents which, this season, includes Erin Wasson x RVCA.

Like Grown Up Lula: Ellen Von Unwerth shot Milla Jovovich and Sasha Pivovarova for July’s Italian Vogue. As if that’s not enough Fall clothes give us butterflies. {IMG}

On the Otherside: Catherine McNeil’s in the new Vogue Germany doing black and white for Patrick Demarchelier. She’s also kind of nakey. {Models}

We Are Not Alone: Haters of Adventures in Copyright beware, this may not be the link for you. {Daily News}

Long Time Passing: We love Lara, but we’re saying goodbye to our thick brows anytime soon. {NY Times}

Sounds like Milk Studios is going to become one of our most-visited locations come September and New York Fashion Week.

WWD reports this morning that MAC, the usual cosmetics sponsor in the tents, is negotiating to sponsor shows at Milk instead.

This is an interesting development as MAC makeup teams typically create looks for more than 60 shows during any given season. And they bring the best key artists in the business with them.

Milk is a great venue and one that has hosted many a fashion event, and show, in the past. It will be interesting to see who jumps ship from the tents and goes with MAC. Will it simply be smaller designers? Or will any of the bigs head to Milk too.

Theodora Richards has left IMG to join her sister Alexandra on Wilhelmina’s roster.

IMG plays home to all the rock star kids: Lou Doillon, Julia Roitfeld, Liv Tyler, Elettra Rossellini, Daisy Lowe (yes, we use the term rock star liberally), but the gorgeous blond Richards sisters, daughters of Rolling Stone Keith and model Patti Hansen, are now holding down the Wilhelmina fort.

Theo’s starred in ads for Tommy Hilfiger and Roberto Cavalli for H&M, but maybe, with a package deal for the two sisters, they’ll get to join their dad in the realm of luxury advertising.

A family portrait for LV? Sounds do-able.

Modeling behemoth IMG (home of Kate, Gisele, Daria, the Lilys, and oh-so many more of our favorite girls) has just signed former Gilmore Girl Alexis Bledel to the agency to handle her commercial endorsements - so now she and Little J can hang out at the office?

And we’re excited to see what they’ve got planned.

We were always big fans of Rory and Lorelei and her porcelain complexion and blue eyes are pretty incredible.

Anything that brings her some cool new exposure works for us.

Bring on the campaigns.

Knock, Knock: We wonder if it makes Gucci uncomfortable when a blog devotes their entire day intricately detailing just how to rip off a runway collection? {WhoWhatWear}

Work It Out: Burn fat while raising money for Elettra Wiedemann’s charity Just One Frickin’ Day this Saturday, May 16th at the Soho Equinox. {IMG Models Blog}

It’s So On: There’s a high street battle a-brewing! H&M debuted pieces of their fall collection and they giving Topshop a run for their money. Are you team Topshop or H&M? {Refinery 29}

From Russia, With Love: Apparently the hot scene of the moment is in Moscow. And yet somehow we’re not there. {Hint}

Though Fern Mallis, senior vice president of IMG, is one of the most important figures in fashion (she is basically who we have to thank for that little thing called Fashion Week), many people don’t actually know her know her.

So we thought we’d share this short, rare interview she did with Bravo in promotion for her role as a judge on Bravo’s new Project Runway replacement called The Fashion Show, for which Isaac Mizrahi is also a judge, so everyone can get to know the lovely Fern a bit better.

Learn that she used to wear only American designers while director of the CFDA, that her style is “international,” that Donna Karan sometimes “gets fats, gets skinny,” and that Fern is much nicer than most people seem to think she is.

The show premiers May 7th - more info on Bravo’s site.

It’s the last time a mini-fashion village will be built atop Bryant Park and IMG’s going out with a bang.

The canvas tarps that build the tents, the ones plastered with brightly colored “VOTE” buttons last season, will be designed by the designers showing within their flimsy walls.

According to Nylon, they’ll be made to look like an inspiration board complete with sketches, scribbles and swatches from designers including Erin Fetherston and Dennis Basso.

If only they could give us outfits at the door, too. Or is that asking too much?

Betsey Johnson won’t be showing at the Bryant Park tents this February.

Betsey, who’s shown her past five collections in the park, is scaling back the presentation of her Fall 2009 collection in light of the recession. She usually shows to more than 1000 buyers and editors in the main tent; this time around she’ll host a more intimate event at a still unnamed location.

Carmen Marc Valvo’s also surrendering his tent space after ten seasons. His audience was already significantly smaller last September and with less press and buyers expected to make the trip to New York for the first Fashion Week of 09 and Bryant Park show costs climbing above $100,000 - it’s just not worth it.

Meanwhile, IMG’s allegedly open to converting tent space into presentation space, like the London Fashion Week tents but rotating, to keep as many designers as possible on site.

We love presentations, but a fun, fantastical Betsey Johnson collection belongs on a major runway.