—PHOTOGRAPHY BY JEREMY KOST

We’ve started to think of Chanel as a little family.

A royal one of course, with Karl and Lady Amanda Harlech holding court as king and queen, Sebastian playing court jester, and a circle of courtesans, some of whom are in for life (Karen) and some (Irina, Heidi, Lara) who move in and out of favor.

Anyway, the family gathered in Venice yesterday for Chanel’s Cruise ‘10 (ah!) show and while it didn’t go off without a hitch, the clothes held their own in front of the Venetian sunset. The king was late and the queen suffered a mosquito-stung eye, but after the audience took to their wooden deck chairs the girls - Freja, Ikeliene, Siri, Tanya, Liu, Jourdan - strutted down the beach in stripes, tweeds, florals, pajama-like silks and even harlequin prints. There were loads of jewels, strappy sandals, plastic booties and even lace-trimmed biker shorts that make all our thirteen-year-old style dreams come true.

We hope someone packed up the Marchesa Casati-inspired wigs for this weekend’s Life Ball in Vienna while we imagine a dress or two is already headed to Cannes.

Ga-Ga for Ikielene: Iekeliene Stange gets naked behind a bamboo screen for this pretty awesome editorial, without a stitch of fashion, in the new issue of Velvet. {FashionCopious}

LV Leak: Kanye’s fashion fascination culminates in these strange (alleged) ads for his Louis Vuitton sneakers. {NahRight}

Say What?: The pretty people behind pretty pictures speak which makes the pretty pictures on this blog even prettier. {BackyardBill}

Plastic’s Fantastic: Nylon’s launched their own record label. Their first band? The Plasticines, four French girls with some serious fashion cred. {Nylon}

More to Come: French Vogue’s Emmanuelle Alt is the woman behind Michael Jackson’s dumbfounding day of Balmain and apparently, she has plans to further enhance his wardrobe. {Fashionologie}

Our world is full of model slash something iterations.

The original, and most common, would be model slash actress: Lauren Hutton, Cybill Sheppard, Cindy Crawford, Elle MacPherson et al. Then came model slash photographer: Ellen von Unwerth, Helena Christensen, Iekeline Stange, ad nauseam. Now we’ve been blessed with a stash of model slash designers which brings us to our point.

To the pretty faces out there making dresses, please spare us from yet another slew of wannabe vintage floral tea dresses. You know who you are, the Gail Elliots, Milla Jovovichs, Erin Wassons and Kate Mosses of the world.

Miss Moss, your Topshop disasters have reached cringe-worthy status. The ditzy, daffodil covered, forties style, matronly, smocks without a dash of cool belong in the back of musty thrift stores, not on high street racks. And you can throw as many super cool Balmain blazers on top of the floral frocks as you like but you’re still a lamb in sheep’s clothing - especially since we know you ordered eight key pieces from Poltock and Walsh this season. Nary a flower in sight, just edgy leopard prints, sharp shoulders and a heavy dose of sexy.

Come on girls, leave the designing to Alexander McQueen. Model slash model can’t be so bad.

—CHARLEY B.

—PHOTOGRAPHY BY JEREMY KOST

I’m feeling rather blunt.

Maybe it’s the jet lag or maybe it’s the freedom of being in a different country, but the truth is, I really didn’t think there would be a show more over the top, read - worse than - Erin Fetherston.

Well, Alice Temperley, you’ve got her beat.

You were, at least, smart enough to put one of the worst dresses on the best models - see Jourdan Dunn. But you weren’t smart enough to realize that ruffles, studs, bows, butterflies, feathers and beads probably don’t all belong in one look.

Did you mean to have the front row whispering about how your usually made-for-women clothes are perfect for Taylor Momsen’s next event?

With the exception of Iekeliene’s exceptionally frothy dress and the Charlotte Olympia shoes, (which explain the front row presence of Alice Dellal), this collection won’t even be ripped off by Forever 21.

And that sort of says it all.

A list of things we loved at Adam Lippes:

1. That it was held at the general theological seminary garden - who knew so much greenery and history existed just east of the West Side Highway?

2. That they served us vodka sodas - at 2 pm

3. That Snoop Dogg played while the models strode down the runway donning rasta-ish hats.

4. The gray skirt and blazer combo - totally reminds us of our high school years. (And we’re pretty sure we don’t have to make the most obvious TV reference ever right here…)

5. All the sheer whites and peekaboo crochet. Apparently, according to the shows we’ve seen so far, we better hit the gym- everything’s been sheer, sheer, sheer.

6. The fuscias, yellows and bright blues - they totally brightened up our dreary day.

7. Watching Iekeliene leave in a very Iekeliene outfit - rainbow zig zag tights with a rainbow headband to match.

—HAYLEY PHELAN