This Thursday, October 22, you can meet Christian Louboutin. The master of the six inch heel will be at Bergdorf Goodman later this week to answer all your nagging shoe questions.

You should, by now, know why his soles are red, but you could ask:

1. How he picks which designers to work with.

2. If he has a favorite shoe.

3. If he had to play favorites, would he choose Jonathan Kelsey, Charlotte Olympia or Nicholas Kirkwood?

4. If you have the money for one pair of Louboutins, should you go with black, nude or something wild and crazy?

Make sure you RSVP here!

—PHOTOGRAPHY BY JEREMY KOST

“I think my biggest influence and inspiration would be Coco Chanel because just, like, the cuts and the fabrics and everything are so, like, my personal style. And so it’s so, like, exciting to see all of her work and how she started with hats, and when I was young I started designing, like, sketches of perfume bottles. I was just attracted to design in general and so then as I got a little bit older it, like, went, like, all the way toward fashion.” —Jazmin Whitley — designer of the line Li Cari, star of MTV’s House of Jazmin, and apparent successor to the aspiring fashion designer title left when Lauren Conrad became a NY Times Bestselling Author — on her inspirations. Lord help us all.

When I heard that Lauren Conrad’s book LA Candy was sitting atop the New York Times Bestseller List for the second week in a row, I may have puked in my mouth a little bit. I haven’t read it and don’t ever plan to do so.

And before you all start in on me, of course, I’m mildly jealous. What writer (and I use that term loosely when it comes to Lauren) hasn’t dreamed of being #1 on that list.

Now, this is not to say that I don’t like to dabble in the chick lit/industry roman à clef genre from time to time. But I want something that if not highly literary, is at the very least juicy!

“Jane felt her blood freeze. Fiona never called Jane into her office unless she was in trouble. It was always something like, ‘Jane, the last time I checked, ivory and eggshell weren’t the same color,’ or ‘Jane, is this message from Jeffrey with a J or Geoffrey with a G?’ What had she done this time? Either way, she preferred that her humiliating lectures take place in private—just her and Fiona behind closed doors. Guess not today. She frowned at the cameras, which were supposed to be capturing “an average workday.” Well, now, the L.A. Candy viewers are going to see my average butt getting yelled at, Jane thought.” —From Lauren Conrad’s new book, LA Candy, on Teen Vogue.

Lauren Conrad’s designing for Kohl’s.

The no-longer-star of The Hills has been working with the department store for almost a year to produce an exclusive line, LC Lauren Conrad.

The announcement comes less than two months after reports that she’d be closing her own line, though The New York Times says she’s just taking a break before re-launching her eponymous collection overseas in 2010. Apparently, she wants, “to give it a whole new feel.”

LC’s been hard at work designing “California inspired” t-shirts, dresses and jeans for Kohl’s, all of which will fall between $20 and $60. Come October, three hundred stores will carry the collection and pending its inevitable success the other seven hundred Kohl’s locations across the country may pick it up.

We’re betting the clothes are similar to her original collection of slouchy t-shirts and jersey dresses but at a much more reasonable price point. Maybe we can play this, “Spot the Difference” game between her $150 basics of yesteryear and her favorite Kohl’s tee?

A while back, we noticed that Lauren Conrad’s Collection was curiously tucked into the DVF section of Bloomingdale’s in Soho. We’ve also recently noticed that everyone’s so taken with scenes involving Olivia Palermo on The City, that the name “Spencer” has ceased to draw the same level of ire as in summers past.

So it looks like the DVF empire has squashed LC’s before it ever really got off the ground. Not only is her show finally ending while The City becomes socially acceptable for conversation (ok, with some people), but it looks like her line has gone kaput, too.

The New York Post says it’s because of “the economic climate” but we think this is just what happens when little fish jump into the Pacific Ocean, camera crew or not.

If the mere existence of The City didn’t make this one obvious, allow the cold hard facts to stand alone:

Lauren Conrad is leaving The Hills after season five, which premieres March 30th.

No word on exactly what the show will become without its north star, but here’s the better question - what exactly is Lauren going to do with her life after being (arguably) reality TV’s best known experiment?

Our best guesses:

Maybe it’s because I’ve just returned from a long weekend in the country, or maybe it’s because I’m particularly eagle-eyed when it comes to hair, but did anyone else notice last night’s prime time hair switch?

First, I watched Blair Waldorf help save a young girl from 1 Oak sporting a side braid more reminiscent of Lauren Conrad’s cool-California girl style than her usual UES stiff. And that was funny and fine.

But then I noticed Lauren Conrad sporting a black headband (and was that a bow on it? Tilted to the side?) more reminiscent of Blair Waldorf’s uppity signature look, which always makes me think of Shannon Doherty in Heathers.

An intentional Monday night hair swap? Or an East Coast / West Coast hip-hair rivalry?

You know we doubt it’s either, but it’s just so fun to say shit like that.

If you happen to be a college student in Austin, Atlanta, Boston, Minneapolis or Los Angeles, and a fan of the Lauren Conrad Collection, then you’re in luck.

Lauren’s kicked off a college-tour of her line, The Lauren Conrad Collection College Tour, bringing a runway show to each school along the way. Apparently, she’s figured out that her key customer is young, in school, and probably in a sorority, and much more likely to buy the clothes if she graces the middle of class schedules with a fashion show.

Confirmed schools include Georgia State, Georgia Tech, University of Texas at Austin, University of Minnesota, Brandeis and BU, and shows will go on through the next month.

In other celebrity-design news, have you seen Nicole Richie’s first line for House of Harlow? Because we have to say, Kitson or not, we’re pleasantly surprised, and picturing that Pyramid Bangle with everything come Spring.

We don’t go to Bloomingdale’s that often. Department stores are semi-overwhelming and it’s about two blocks too far down Broadway.

But we did go right before Paris because we needed bras and we did go yesterday because we needed Marc. And while there, we noticed a change.

Diane von Furstenberg has had her own space on the third floor since the first time we went to Bloomingdale’s. It’s the same size and scope as the Marc by Marc area on the fourth floor. And it’s all Diane, all the time.

Or it was, until they plopped a rack of Lauren Conrad’s dresses in the middle.

We, or I, worked in retail long enough to know how much thought goes into merchandising. In the public eye, DVF now means Whitney Port which means someone at Bloomingdale’s is getting their giggles from imagining some sort of third floor fashion-reality-show fight.

Stay tuned.

It’s less than a month since Lauren Conrad’s clothing line was dropped by Kitson due to “lackluster sales.”

It seems the Hills star’s line of “basics” and jersey wasn’t making it with the LA crowd unless LC herself was in store to promote it.

But here’s some news that should make her say “haha” all day today -

Not only is LC herself set to appear as a presenter at the Emmys on September 21st, but the models that will strut the stage to hand out awards to every prime-time winner will be wearing dresses from the Lauren Conrad Collection.

Do you think the models will all be ANTM alums?

We were watching ESPN this morning (don’t ask), when a familiar voice rang through our living room. It said:

“Work is so crazy - Fashion Week’s coming up and I have to meet with all these LA designers to learn…”

Oh yes. It was Lauren Conrad, pushing AT&T while wearing blue nail polish. (And yes, this is off Natalie’s television via her digital camera, so sorry for any shakiness.)

We’re not sure what this was doing on ESPN, but whatever, we’re just glad she says she’s going to learn something…

Olivia Palermo may deny she’s a Hills guest star, but now there’s more intrigue about whom they’re filming:

We hear that Daisy Lowe has been selected to be the “Lauren Conrad” of The Hills: London.

The project has been in the works for a while now, with UK tabloids reporting that MTV execs have been in hot pursuit of a group of connected, gorgeous, cool kids to follow around with cameras.

Weirdly, Daisy’s already been pursued for Class of 2008, a quasi-documentary about London babes that basically run around partying for twelve episodes straight.

We’re not gonna lie - we’d watch this religiously. Anything to never pay attention to Heidi and Spencer again.

Yesterday, Faran popped over to the London Hotel for a quick chat with Lauren Conrad about her latest project: An accessories line for mark, the brand that belongs to Avon Cosmetics and refuses to be capitalized.

A chunk of the conversation went something like this:

FARAN: Do you know everyone’s obsessed with your nails?

LAUREN CONRAD: Really?

FARAN: Obsessed.

LAUREN CONRAD: Well, that’s weird… yeah, I stopped doing black, and now I’m getting really playful. I just got this electric blue color, and also these metallic foils from Sephora that are kind of crazy. You push them down onto your nails and they stay there, like instead of polish. Oh, and I like going to party supply stores because they sell glitter nail polish that’s really intense. When you paint it on your nails, they look like disco balls.

FARAN: Yeah, we do that.

LAUREN CONRAD: I think nails are the place where you can be really weird and experiment… like I love orange, too.

Attached is a photo of Lauren, wearing red nail polish that was not so experimental. Thus far, her accessories line doesn’t include nail polish colors, but it does include a necklace for $22 that donates 100% of profits to charities that help young women combat domestic violence. You can go to meetmark.com for info.

By the way, if you care, Faran is wearing purple nail polish today.

Not since Stella McCartney and LeSportsac teamed up has there been such a “what?!” in the accessories world:

Today, earlier rumors were confirmed that Lauren Conrad will pair with Avon, the makeup brand, to launch a new line of accessories for their youth-geared line, Mark.

These bags (and presumably, these makeup cases) are different from the collection Lauren already designed for Linea Pelle, and aren’t connected to her own fashion line.

They’ll debut to the press in mid-June, so until then, we’ll have to imagine:

Will the bag named after “Lo” be big enough to edge the bag named “Audrina” off the shelf? Is the lone male messenger tote named “Stephen” or “Brody”?

And will People’s Revolution be doing their press?

Stay tuned!

And you thought Faran was a flake.

Today, Lauren Conrad announced a new partnership with College Tonight, a social networking site aimed at campus communities.

Not only will Lauren be paid a lot to blog her opinions on the site, she’s also being given her own opportunity to showcase her style, and of course, her burgeoning fashion line, which she’s aligned with ShopIntuition in order to drive eCommerce.

Now, we think Lauren Conrad should absolutely take advantage of every business opportunity possible, and so if an internet company offers her a gig, cool -

But we can’t help noticing: Lauren’s life on The Hills seems a lot more like Juicy Campus, not some sanitized attempt at the social networking that Facebook and MySpace already enable college kids to do.

But maybe that kind of tawdry network is more of a Heidi endeavor?

10. So did Lauren just like text Lisa Love to say she’s quitting?

9. Audrina wears dresses? Phillip Lim ones?

8. What the hell is a “computer class”?

7. Heidi - you really need another “girls’ night”? Don’t these usually end in embarrassment for you?

6. Is Lauren wearing a knuckle ring? For her first post-fight scene with Heidi? And Justin Bobby? (And is that a kids’ bed sheet wrapped around her chest?)

5. “Oh my gosh, here comes Justin” - read from a teleprompter?

4. Oh Heidi, fake nails? Dark red? Oof - but we guess it’s just another one for the list.

3. Could Justin Bobby care less about the whole Heidi-Lauren backstory? Guess he really wants to get Audrina on the bike…

2. Does Lo secretly hate Audrina?

1. Has Spencer kind of retired from the show? Because he’s actually coming across as semi-sage compared to everyone else.

The Grecian dress from Target’s in-house Go International collection looks both random, cheaply made, and poorly fitting - even on the model.

We love a good steal from our favorite megastore, but draping should be left to those with quality fabric and serious skills. Plus, the dress doesn’t really fit the fashion-for-the-masses mold.

After wondering aloud where they got the idea, we dropped the subject until we came across this gorgeous Alberta Ferretti frock.

Our first thought was, “Hello, Lauren Conrad!” And our second was, “Um, looks like Target scrolls Net-a-Porter as much as we do.”

So Target, if you’re listening, we love what you’ve done with mass fashion and please call Mr. Alexander McQueen to design the next GO International collection.

But leave the intricate draping, pleating, flowing silk look to those with access to Italian fabric mills.