Alison, 23, salesgirl

Got Her: Working at Amarcord Vintage (best store ever!) in Williamsburg.

Stalked Her: Well, actually, we were taking a shopping break…

Shot Her: It was the purple heels and the neon nails.

She Said: “I try to dress down so people pay more attention to the clothes in the store than to what I’m wearing. But I do love accessories! They’re an easy way to add spark to my outfits.”

We Say: Sparks are flying.

—AMANDA JEAN BOYLE

It’s true. I can’t stop myself. I love the feeling I get when I glance down and see a flash of cool on my digits.

Abby says she would call for an intervention except that she likes seeing what I show up with every day. (She also just told me about Rescue Beauty Lounge - who make this amazing glitter polish - I might have to go directly after work.)

Currently, I’m rocking a horizontal-striped double-Essie combo (Aruba Blue topped with Bermuda Shorts). I live for the Sally Hansen nail pens, and fully see some lightning bolts in my nail future. I also love vertical stripes and painting each nail a different color.

And I will forever maintain that being the person who comes up with the names of nail polishes is undeniably the most amazing job ever. Reading the label on the bottom of a nail polish bottle brings me endless joy.

Are you as obsessed as I am? What is your go-to nail hue?

—MELISSA ELLIOTT

I’ve seen a lot of crazy beauty crap in my days. Fart guards, spray-on ab kits, press-on shadows - basically, nothing surprises me anymore.

Yet when Revlon’s April-launching collection of eight fruity-scented nail lacquers landed on my desk last week, all that practiced cynicism was replaced with a WTF. Nail polishes that become fruit-scented after they dry? Right. But since it’s my job, I went ahead and lightly painted my pinkie with the deep periwinkle Not So Blue-berry shade, then tentatively sniffed my nail.

I spent the rest of the afternoon compulsively inhaling my finger the way we all used to inhale Mr. Sketch’s grape markers in third grade art class, making the other Starbucks patrons around me very uncomfortable and giving myself one hell of a migraine.

At some point, while I inhaled the sickeningly addictive sweet, sweet scent of fake blueberries, I imagined the marketing meeting for this one: “So I’ve got this great idea. Nail polish you sniff. The kids’ll love it, providing they don’t get brain damage from inhalation.”

General impression: The colors are pretty, the polish goes on smooth, they didn’t chip easily and the scents are alarmingly addictive. No they don’t really fulfill any specific beauty needs, nor are they some groundbreaking development for the industry, but boy are they fun. And every now and then it’s nice to have a little bit of silliness in your routine. Now excuse me while I paint on the Mango and imagine I’m in Tahiti.

—MEGAN MCINTYRE

I’ll admit it, I’m obsessed with nail polish. I know all the Essie shade names, I salivate whenever Ji Baek launches a new Rescue Beauty Lounge collection, and I could rhapsodize for hours on what Deborah Lippmann can do with metallics.

So it’s no surprise that Chanel’s limited edition Moscow Collection of polishes has me in an absolute tizzy. The trio of polishes was created for the models in Le Lagerfeld’s czarina themed pre-Fall 09 collection and were the perfect complement to the clothes’ buttoned-up opulence.

The base of each shade is a deep obsidian to which different shades of sparkle — red, blue and gold — were added to create an optical fireworks effect when they catch the light. Seriously, I applied one coat and then spent the next 15 minutes twisting my hands and watching it sparkle. Sad but true.

Granted, at $30 a pop, I’m not exactly beating down the door to get these right this second, but seeing as how the Feu de Russie shade has already sold out online, I may be alone in this conviction. So if you don’t mind dropping the cash for the lacquer, you better do it fast because these babies are soon to be just a distant, shimmery memory.

—MEGAN MCINTYRE

Apparently, 90210 is the zip that keeps on giving.

Because believe it or not, there’s not one, not two, but four separate nail polishes dedicated to the city of ostentatious wealth. Kind of ironic in these times of financial strife, no?

OPI’s three-piece 90210 collection is based, unfortunately, on the new craptastic CW show. Props to the brand for the idea, but where were you when the original and far superior show was a weekly ritual? I would have been all over a Brenda nail polish like, well, Brenda on Dylan.

Alas, the three polishes are themed on lackluster Annie, Silver and Naomi. Though unlike their namesakes, all three shades are versatile and complementary, with the crimson and shimmery purple at $8.50 each and available now.

Not to be outdone, Essie’s teamed up with the Beverly Hills Conference & Visitor’s Bureau to create Love, Beverly Hills xx. The shade, available this month, is a racy red (at left) with a golden shimmer courtesy of actual 24 karat pure gold. Of course.

So in case you were wondering (and we totally know you were), the official color of Beverly Hills isn’t black (as in AmEx or Lauren Conrad’s shade of choice) or platinum (as in wedding band) - it’s rich and shiny red.

—MEGAN MCINTYRE (our new weekly beauty columnist!)

Tina Fey’s wearing little more than an American flag on the cover of January’s Vanity Fair.

The unusually sexy look for the geek chic comedienne continues in the Annie Liebovitz-shot editorial with an exposed black bra and demonic red pumps. In fact, the stylists and makeup artists manicured every inch of the actress - except for her hands.

Despite the crazy campy look, the dancing-lolling-vamping Fey wears her nails short and bare as if, gasp, they actually belong to Tina Fey. Because messing with someone’s nails is like making them wear a mask.

Some people talk with their hands, but everyone’s hands talk for them. Anxious? Your chewed up nails give you away. High maintenance? We’re terrified of your crimson claws.

[Side story: A friend of mine confessed that her boss’s nails used to make her sick. The attorney “would openly gnaw on them in court” leaving an unprofessional and unattractive set of nails in his nervous wake. Are you surprised that a Manhattan lawyer can get away with that? Don’t be. After all, the self-styled bad-ass defends killers for a living and as my friend said: “I doubt anyone ever gave him shit.”]

The moral of the story is: Your nails tell the truth about who you are. If Tina Fey’s all-American hooker garb included Revlon Raven Red on her fingertips, she would’ve looked like an actual hooker. Whereas bare nails make her Tina Fey dressed up as a hooker. Which in turn make the pictures funny - not embarrassing.

So what do your nails say about you? Are you telling people you’re a little punk rock with that Black Satin, even though you’re in bed by 11 every night? Or maybe you’re coming off as a little tacky with those tips?

—GLENNA GOLDIS (our new weekly beauty columnist!)

Thirty dollars on nail polish might sound obscene.

But if you buy only one bottle for Fall, and you paint it on yourself, it’s totally justifiable. Especially if it’s Chanel. And especially if you’re in Paris, like me.

I snagged a pretty bottle of their new Kaleidoscope paint yesterday morning and I haven’t stopped staring at my nails since. It’s the partner shade to the gold everyone’s raving about, but so much better.

It looks, at first, like a pewtery silver, but then it gets lighter. Sometimes it’s green and sometimes it’s pink, but it’s always shimmery, which means it goes with everything.

It’s like the silver Wet n’ Wild I had in high school, but way more grown up and even a bit sophisticated. Not to mention it goes on ten times easier, and without brush strokes.

If you see it, try it, thank us.

Faran took Britt to Andy Warhol’s 80th birthday last night. They drank hot pink Velvet Edie cocktails and met Mena Suvari. It went like this:

Britt: Ok Faran, don’t freak out, but look at her nail polish.

Faran: Oh. Wow.

Mena smiles.

Faran: Hi Mena, you look amazing. Can we take a picture of your nailpolish?

Mena: Sure! Isn’t it great? It’s from Essie’s new neon collection.

Faran: What’s it called?

Mena: Bermuda shorts I think?

Britt: I have on “Short Shorts,” pointing at her toes, I’m obsessed. Your hair looks kind of amazing by the way - it’s so Andy.

Faran: How long did it take you to do that?

Mena: My friend Alex did it. It took about an hour and a ton of hairspray. It’s in that awkward growing out stage so I have to get creative.

Faran: Well it looks amazing.

Mena: Thank you!

We were watching ESPN this morning (don’t ask), when a familiar voice rang through our living room. It said:

“Work is so crazy - Fashion Week’s coming up and I have to meet with all these LA designers to learn…”

Oh yes. It was Lauren Conrad, pushing AT&T while wearing blue nail polish. (And yes, this is off Natalie’s television via her digital camera, so sorry for any shakiness.)

We’re not sure what this was doing on ESPN, but whatever, we’re just glad she says she’s going to learn something…

Yesterday, Faran popped over to the London Hotel for a quick chat with Lauren Conrad about her latest project: An accessories line for mark, the brand that belongs to Avon Cosmetics and refuses to be capitalized.

A chunk of the conversation went something like this:

FARAN: Do you know everyone’s obsessed with your nails?

LAUREN CONRAD: Really?

FARAN: Obsessed.

LAUREN CONRAD: Well, that’s weird… yeah, I stopped doing black, and now I’m getting really playful. I just got this electric blue color, and also these metallic foils from Sephora that are kind of crazy. You push them down onto your nails and they stay there, like instead of polish. Oh, and I like going to party supply stores because they sell glitter nail polish that’s really intense. When you paint it on your nails, they look like disco balls.

FARAN: Yeah, we do that.

LAUREN CONRAD: I think nails are the place where you can be really weird and experiment… like I love orange, too.

Attached is a photo of Lauren, wearing red nail polish that was not so experimental. Thus far, her accessories line doesn’t include nail polish colors, but it does include a necklace for $22 that donates 100% of profits to charities that help young women combat domestic violence. You can go to meetmark.com for info.

By the way, if you care, Faran is wearing purple nail polish today.

We haven’t entertained the notion of blue nails since Clueless, but a week of gallery hopping may be enough to change our minds:

In the past seven days, we’ve spotted blue nails paired with Alexander Wang’s blue chiffon tank top, blue nails on some visitors at Mary Boone and Rivington Arms, and blue nails at the “hot” new club Santo’s House, which we keep calling Santa’s Village by mistake.

Above are blue nails as seen on an intern, and blue nails by Dana Veraldi, the photographer and graphic designer behind the Deer Dana creations (including the Agyness t-shirt).

You’ll note it’s not the same navy blue spread by Chanel and Dior this February, but instead something closer to Smurf.

We fully admit we watched Living Lohan last night, and it was about on par with the latest Indiana Jones: Poorly planned, gleefully great when it wasn’t paying attention, and ultimately better with alcohol.

But as Dinah Lohan constantly Googled herself, and the show’s producers considered it a plot point, we noticed something awful:

Dinah was wearing black nail polish.

Her young but leathery daughter Ali was also wearing black nail polish.

Their rock solid assistant, whose sole job it seemed was to keep Googling the Lohans, wore black nail polish, too.

And so we knew, it’s officially over. Like Kristen Johnson plunging from the window in the best Sex and the City episode ever, this was “the end of an era”:

Black nail polish is dead.

But keep your bottles around, so you can coat silver barrettes, Tory Burch logos, and Prada sandal stones black, to make them cooler…

PS: The graphic at left is from Hollywood Grind. It has nothing to do with this article, except it shows Lindsay at age fourteen, and Ali at age fourteen. Odd how Ali looks like the older sister, isn’t it?

WHICH fashionable boutique has strict grooming rules for their shop girls? Specifically, French manicures are forbidden - they’re seen as too “pedestrian” for pushing Tory Burch…

and now, a note from Faran…

Lauren Conrad came to visit the NYLON office this week, and I swore I would mop the floors all month just to get in the meeting.

She was very nice, very enthusiastic and knowledgeable about her clothing line, and unbelievably pretty in person. She was also so social that I wondered if she’d ever done anything more fun than go to a party - when we mentioned two big NYLON events coming up, her eyes got huge like she’d just been given some free Chanel shoes.

Actually, she was wearing Chanel shoes, little flats; they were kind of amazing.

Anyway, we took a bunch of photos of her Fall ‘08 clothes, but I also paid particular attention to her nails. It’s no secret that at the Fashionista office, we’ve always claimed (and only half as a joke) that whatever Lauren did with her fingers, every girl in America would do later.

For about two years, she’s clung to Chanel’s Black Satin varnish, but this week, it was something different: Totally clear with nothing else.

For those who care, even secretly, I’ve attached a close-up below.

xo F.

Those who haven’t gone overseas this season can still reap the shopping benefits, thanks to Sephora:

The beauty mega-store has finally imported Dior’s Blue Poison nail polish - and the only other place you can get it is in Europe.

We can say from experience that the polish is great, with the following advisements:

1. It should only be used in one coat, or else it looks black.

2. It needs to be followed with two topcoats of clear polish, because it chips easier than a cookie from City Bakery.

3. It can also be mixed with white polish to create the elusive “Sky Blue” shade of Clueless and Hard Candy fame.

If you’re still obsessed with matching your nails to Eva Green’s and Charlize Theron’s, it’s $19 well spent.

Otherwise: Wet ‘n Wild 4ever!

Maybe Lauren Conrad really is the most influential person in fashion.

After all, at yesterday’s Marc by Marc Jacobs show, there were black nails on every single girl - despite the fact that all the shoppers we know in New York, London, L.A., and Paris have moved on to blue, white, or even various shades of orange (our favorite is called “caution”).

In fact, the only girls we do know who still rock black nail polish are Lauren Conrad, Audrina Patridge, and Whitney Port.

As one model remarked, “It would be cool if the girls and the guys had to wear black polish because then it would be all, like, emo.”

The good news:

If you bought eight bottles of Chanel Black Satin, you don’t have to dump them out.

Like every other beauty obsessed editor in the city, we hit up the Bendel’s Beauty Breakfast this morning, and it was totally worth it.

The big news:

-Laura Mercier is opening a lash bar (think Shu), only at Bendel’s, the second week in February. (Britt, at press time, is applying her new pair in the bathroom.)

-Makeup artist extraordinaire Mally Roncal is selling the amazing sheer red lipstick she originally created for Zooey Deschanel.

-And Le Métier de Beauté is coming out with a liquid liner pen that works exactly like a fine-point Sharpie.

But our favorite part of the morning? When colorist Katrina from Giella overheard our nail polish woes (we’ve been trying to find the perfect shade of bright orange,) and mixed the exact shade we had in mind right on the spot - much like the Fashionista lip gloss they made for us last year.

It might be a little pricey ($25 a bottle!) but we think it’s worth it - especially for getting certain wait-list/only-sold-in-Europe shades, or even for tweaking colors you love but clash with your skin tone.

It was the most well-rounded breakfast we’ve had in a while.

NYLON gets everything these days -

In addition to Faran, the beauty team over there got their pretty hands on ten bottles of the only-sold-in-Europe nail polish, Blue Poison by Dior.

But because everybody over there is so cool, they’re going to give them away to the ten funniest people who can act faster than the bottles disappear.

E-mail sweeps@nylonmag.com, include all your info and write “Blue” in the subject line.

Oh, and yeah, include the best dirty joke you can think of - only the ones that make the NYLON staff do spit takes have the chance to win (we’re not making this up).

Get going!