So this weekend Karl Lagerfeld took a “dig” at Heidi Klum, his second of the year.

In February he said, “Heidi is no runway model. She is simply too heavy and has too big a bust. And she always grins so stupidly. That is not avant-garde - that is commercial!” and now he claims not to know who she is, “I don’t know Heidi Klum. She was never known in France. Claudia Schiffer also doesn’t know who she is.”

First, you can’t break down someone’s body and then say you don’t know they exist. Second, which high fashion designer is more commercial than Karl Lagerfeld? Third, you don’t make money when Claudia Schiffer knows who you are, you make it when Middle America knows your name (though we don’t believe for a second that Schiffer’s never heard of Klum). Fourth, Lagerfeld makes gorgeous, brilliant clothes, but avant-garde at this stage? Non.

Most frustrating of all is the unfortunate truth that models don’t make major money walking Balenciaga or doing editorials for Purple, but from major beauty contracts, from Victoria’s Secret or J.Crew catalogs and eventually, from becoming a brand.

It’s kind of like how designers don’t make money by designing the most extreme avant-garde clothes, like say Gareth Pugh or Olivier Theyskens, but by hooking themselves up to a major brand, like say Fendi or Chanel and putting their name on overpriced teddy bears.

“This is not a fact until you officially read it somewhere else but rumour has it that Karl Lagerfeld will not renew his contract at Chanel and that Albert [sic] Elbaz will take his place and Olivier Theyskens will take Albert’s place at Lanvin. Both choices make perfect sense to me…Nothing is engraved in cement, these are still just rumours you will have to wait and see.” —Diane Pernet from A Shaded View of Fashion.

Not that we wouldn’t be jealous on a regular day, especially one that’s drizzly and rainy in New York, but today we’re even more so.

First, Nina Ricci is selling off the last of Olivier Theyskens’ final collection for the house, along with clothes and accessories from past collections too—for prices as low as 40 euros. That’s just crazy and quite possibly worth a flight to Paris, in our opinion!

In other Parisian news, Galeries Lafayette is opening a 34,500 square foot shoe department. We can’t even begin to wrap our brains around how big that is, but we can’t wait for our next trip to the city. There’ll be over 150 brands, along with an in-house cobbler and a a pedicure station.

Vive la France.

Guess Who?: Gucci’s finally cracking down on Guess for their interlocking ‘G’ logo. Wonder what took them so long? {Bloomberg}

That’s What He Said: Olivier Theyskens likes fashion parties , but he’d rather smoke cheap cigars and pee in the Seine. We’ll see him at the former, thanks. {Hint}

Broken Brants: Stephanie Seymour just filed for divorce from her husband of sixteen years/owner of Interview Peter Brant. Poor thing’s sleeping in the maid’s quarters, probably surrounded by Alaia. {NYMag}

And with the end of the Fashion Epic, comes the news we all already knew:

Olivier Theyskens has officially exited Nina Ricci, as of March 10th, to be replaced by Louis Vuitton designer Peter Copping.

This means a totally new designer for the stories house for Spring 2010, and a major opening at LVMH, unless Marc’s already found Peter’s replacement.

Of course, everyone’s wondering (hoping) if Olivier will take this opportunity to revive his namesake label. But we’re betting it’ll be months before we hear from him again, because we’re pretty sure a vacation’s in order once you’ve been gossiped over around the world.

Did the Times just confirm Peter Copping’s appointment to Nina Ricci?

The speculation surrounding Olivier Theysken’s departure from Nina Ricci has been accepted as fact, even though no official announcement from Puig Group, Nina Ricci’s parent company, has been made. But what every front row gossip wasn’t totally sure about was who exactly would take Olivier’s place.

Peter Copping seemed the most likely contender, especially after he supposedly put in his resignation at Louis Vuitton at the beginning of the year, after having met with Mario Grauso, Puig’s president. But now, Eric Wilson’s gone ahead and stated that Olivier will be “replaced by Peter Copping,” which pretty much sets it in stone - obviously, Eric knows something nobody else does (at least not officially).

So who’s taking Peter’s spot as women’s studio director at Louis Vuitton? And how long before Olivier comes out with his own label?

I held on tight to my Nina Ricci invitation all day.

Hard invitations are gold in Paris - no invite, no luck - and I wasn’t going to miss Olivier Theyskens’ last Nina Ricci collection for anything.

Unfortunately, my cab driver, or the traffic ahead of us, didn’t care that I had to get there, and so, at 7:27 I bolted out of the car and ran, desperately looking for a familiar face or anyone significantly underdressed for the Paris cold. Finally, I stumbled past a very serious security gate and into my seat with seconds to spare.

Paparazzi descended upon the front row, a hippie-headbanded Milla Jovovich was sandwiched in between Carine and Lou Doillon (side note: Earlier today, an editor suggested that I remind them of Charlotte Gainsbourg to which I almost actually said, “I die” out loud. Time to stop quoting Rachel Zoe in my head and time for said editor to get glasses), with Leigh Lezark and Emannuelle Alt on each end. Five camera flashes and the lights went out, a model started walking and the music clicked on - in that order.

The clothes were gorgeous, of course, but the shoes were literally breathtaking. The ball of the foot rested on at least a five inch platform while the heel ascended another few inches, without an actual heel which made it look like the girls were floating on air. Gowns came with giant sheer black ruffles, hot pink and turquoise glitter and beaded floral trains. The red jacket and long skirt caused the audience to spontaneously combust in applause mid-collection (something I’ve never seen, Natalie once at ThreeAsfour) though front-row grins lingered for the duration of the show.

Though I’d corrected at least three people throughout the day, “But it’s not confirmed that he’s leaving! He might make it!,” there was no questioning Olivier’s wave good-bye and the enthusiastic but sad standing ovation.

Even though you may not be very familiar with the name Peter Copping, according to WWD, you will be very soon.

The women’s studio director of Louis Vuitton, who’s been with the company since 1997, is said to have already tendered his resignation, which compounds speculation of his joining the Puig Group (Nina Ricci’s parent company) after having met with Puig President Mario Grauso earlier this month.

Obviously, everyone’s thinking Peter’s been tapped to replace Olivier, who is allegedly done at Nina Ricci after his Fall 09 show, leaving Peter in the spotlight (of course, most of the design credit at Louis Vuitton goes to Marc, not the many people who work directly under him) and Olivier unemployed.

If this is all true (which we’re betting no one will know for sure until at least March), the moves would leave not only Olivier looking for yet another high-profile job (and since Rochas is currently taken by Versace veteran Marco Zanini, we can’t expect the revival everybody wants) but also a pretty huge gap at Louis Vuitton.

We’re guessing Kanye’s dusting off his resume right about now.

We’re getting breathless e-mails asking what, exactly, is the deal with this Grazia item reporting an already battered rumor - that Nina Ricci is looking to replace Olivier Theyskens with an unnamed successor - from the front row at Spring 09 couture this week.

But honestly, we’re surprised it’s even come up again. Not only is Olivier’s Fall 09 show in mere weeks, but he just announced a major accessories line with Nina Ricci not even two weeks ago, and Mario Grauso, the president of Nina Ricci’s parent company Puig Fashion, recently made a point of reaffirming his love for Olivier after rumors of disharmony persisted for months.

Unless of course, all these facts are worth nothing, and Olivier is about to face a Facchinetti-style ousting this March (even though his contract with Nina Ricci isn’t up for renegotiation until this October.)

Guess we’ll have to wait until the dust (and front row boredom) settles.

From a conversation last night:

“Did you know there’s dissent in the Gossip Girl wardrobe closet?

The main costume designer is clashing with the other stylists and producers on set because they think he’s making Blake look like a “trashy whore” and they’re convinced he was responsible for her awful Golden Globes dress.

Very funny.”

Yikes. We have to say, we kind of agree, but wouldn’t (and yes, it pains us to say this) Olivier be responsible for that particular look?

Just saying…

Designers are falling into two very different camps these days.

On the one side, we’ve got those pulling out of the tents for Fashion Week (Vera), consolidating stores (Marc), and focusing on accessories (Olivier).

On the other, we’ve got those moving from womenswear to menswear (Roland, Gareth, Carlos, Decarnin, Ferré), womenswear to kidswear (Gaultier) and now, from menswear into womenswear.

Tim Hamilton will be showing his first women’s collection at Paris Fashion Week this March. The designer told Style.com that the capsule collection, built in Japan and Italy, is inspired by his mother’s, “avant-garde, all-black look and mid-century postmodernism.” So, very New York?

Also? Shoes! He hasn’t decided if he’ll sell them or not, but the more shoes in the world, the better.

“When the economy changes, it’s not like you want to start eating bad-tasting chocolate.” - Olivier Theyskens, after showing his pre-fall collection (which includes a newly expanded accessories line - think bags between $1800 and $2500, and one for $25000), to WWD.

It’s that time again - In this edition, we ask, who would you have wanted to be (in fashion!) for just one day in 2008?

Britt:

Posh: Because in twenty-four hours, I could know what it’s like to wear Roland Mouret and 6” Louboutins on a play date, get a rave review from Style.com, call Marc Jacobs and sleep with David Beckham.

Arlenis: Preferably the day she signed her Lancome contract so that I could grasp the hugeness of going from relative, or total, obscurity to almost super status in like three months.

Carine Roitfeld: Because I would stand in her closet for twelve hours, wander Paris wearing Alaia for the three, style a Demarchelier shoot for five, and hang out with Nicolas Ghesquiere for the last four.

Natalie:

Katie Grand: Because then I could know everything happening with LOVE, which would make me infinitely satisfied.

Cathy Horyn: The power…

Kate: Because why the hell not?

Brett (for fun!):

Olivier Theyskens: On the day of Lauren Santo Domingo’s wedding, to touch the most amazing wedding dress ever and think his thoughts for a little while.

Don Draper: To look that cool, be married to January Jones, cheat, run an ad agency, and drink and smoke all day.

Simon Doonan: Hello, he designs windows and has opinions for a living. That’s my ideal situation.

And you?

A new designer wasn’t enough for Rochas, they needed a new nose, too.

They’ve plucked Jean-Michel Duriez from P&G’s Jean Patou, to work on the development of new fragrances under the Rochas label. Even though P&G shut down the fashion side of Rochas in 2006 after no one actually bought Theysken’s dresses, they held on to the name until this October when they licensed everything out to Gibo who appointed Marco Zanini, formerly of Versace and a failed Halston tenure, to head up the new ready-to-wear division. But P&G hired Duriez on their own, not under the Gibo umbrella, despite the fact that they obviously want almost nothing to do with the fashion side of the label.

Anyway, because we still think of Theyskens when we think of Rochas, there’s really no aesthetic indication of what’s to come on the perfume front - we’ll have a better idea once we see Marco Zanini’s first collection come February.

Which, by the way, we expect to be major. After all, if P&G’s refocusing all this money and energy into the very company they shuttered, they must have come up with some great ideas over these past two years, right?

Madonna has been one of fashion’s most fickle friends; all too ready
to call Jean Paul Gaultier or Olivier Theyskens when she feels like donning couture, but more often than not trudging around in track suits and baseball caps.

But in her new-ish “Give it 2 me” video, fashion seems once more to be on her mind. Madge dances around and goes on and on and on in front of a chevron pattern suspiciously like the one that covers Goyard’s signature luggage. Ok, it’s upside down, but come on.

All the while, Pharrell is playing with his much blogged about purple crocodile man-Birkin.

But given his allegiance to Vuitton, we’re surprised they don’t writhe around in front of a monogram canvas.

Go figure.

—BRETT KANE