Foreign Explanations: Of all the nutty fashion people, explaining Olivier Zahm to the unsuspecting masses is most entertaining. If the post itself doesn’t make you giggle, the comments definitely will. {Gawker}

Royal Snap: Kate Middleton’s taken a job assisting photographer Nikolai von Bismark while Prince William takes royal tours to Australia and New Zealand. It’s not her first fashion job; she was an assistant accessories buyer at Jigsaw in 2006. {DailyStar}

Posh Model: In other British tabloid news, Victoria Beckham and Simon Fuller are allegedly developing a plan for a modeling agency. We’d crack a joke, but we actually love her collection, so we’ll wait and comment post-launch. {DailyMail}

Valley of the Dolls: Ruth LaFerla profiled Mattel’s new Fashionista Barbies (no relation), this weekend. The thought of “aspiring primary-school Rachel Zoes” is surprisingly disturbing. Its makers say the dolls are suited to this economy and promises they won’t be driving limos anytime soon. {NYTimes}

Louis Vuitton’s re-thinking what exactly its customers aspire to.

On the one hand, Lara Stone’s replacing Madonna as the face of the brand. Madonna’s given Vuitton all the publicity she possibly can and Lara, French Vogue favorite, re-instills a high fashion edge; rotating both pop and fashion stars keeps both audiences interested. Steven Meisel will stay behind the camera.

Meanwhile, Vuitton’s sunglasses ads should make an impression on an even younger, slightly hipper customer. André Saraiva, the graffiti artist and man behind Beatrice, Le Baron etc, shot a group of kids including the Ronsons’ little sister Annabelle Dexter Jones and the not-so-child-like Olivier Zahm at New York’s Standard Hotel.

WWD says he’ll continue shooting the cool kids and their “party-all-night vibe”

Marc has instilled such fear in me that I still insist on being punctual to shows even though I always (90% of the time) end up waiting 45 minutes.

So with coffee in hand I sat and watched Mark Ronson DJ for a good fifteen minutes until Rachel Zoe arrived and I could stare at her equally gorgeous nude Alaia wedges. Then I pondered Anna Wintour’s security guard. Has she always had him? Does she need him now that’s she’s a movie star? Was it for the mega necklace she was wearing over her beige dress? Bee sat next to her and I wanted to ask if she made it home with as much random candy as a I did post-Courtney Love. Olivier Zahm ended up on the floor next to Genevieve Jones, but after last night’s debaucherous Purple party I’m kind of impressed he made it at all.

We sat on pink chairs, like last season’s LV shows, in a salon set up while the models walked down a plush pink carpet. A retro, sexy stewardess look kicked everything off - including see-through plastic trenches and maribou furs before Zac went for disco with long pleated dresses and vibrant prints. Rachel Zoe was on, “I die” repeat in my head. That J. Alexander was backstage instructing the girls was clear - they pranced down the carpet with hands in the air stopping and twirling twice before hitting the pit.

It was the best Monday morning I’ve ever had.

These days we all know the last name Ronson draws a crowd, though sometimes an unwanted paparazzi-type one. But not today, at least for the most part. Though there was some serious seating drama for a hot second, everything got figured out and Charlotte sent her clothes down the runway to tunes compiled by her twin sister.

Brother Mark, Byrdie Bell, Becka Diamond, Russell Simmons and his nieces Angela and Vanessa, Joe Zee, Brooklyn Decker, Tinsley Mortimer (in I Heart Ronson from JCPenney), and Olivier Zahm took it all in from the front row. The consensus in our section, and from many others we overheard while squeezing ourselves out the door, was that this was by far Charlotte’s best collection.

There were “Let’s Get Physical” braided headbands, thigh-length leggings/tights with well-placed runs, tons of the shorts (in leather and jersey) that the designer herself so often wears, and an army jacket/anorak that I must have if it kills me. Plus, lots of one-shouldered action. It’s all happening on that front, people. Embrace it.

I get to Gareth Pugh’s show at 4:47.

The show starts at 5, but after a week in Paris, I’m still not familiar with the Palais du Tokyo.

I stand in line next to American Vogue editors and we watch Carine Roitfeld stalk past wearing sequins.

I get inside and trip over a bench that says Mr. Karl Lagerfeld and Lady Amanda Harlech. Alas, they don’t show. So I get my thrills sitting inches from Jefferson Hack who shares his illustrious bench with Rick Owens, Roisin Murphy, Olivier Zahm and Carine.

The club kids sit on the other side just like London because cool kids in New York don’t get to crash shows. The blogger behind me says that she doesn’t understand why bloggers love Kate Lanphear and I’m pretty sure she means me.

Meanwhile, Bill Cunningham marvels at the woman sitting next to me. “But, you’re actually wearing Gareth Pugh! I saw that on the runway last season and thought how does one wear such a thing?” She nods without answering; it matches her outfit better.

The show starts at 6:03.

The models wear reflective mirrors above their eyelashes causing them to blink excessively. Yet, they manage to maneuver the square runway in their seven-inch black and white platforms.

They wear Shakespearean collars on steroids, bicycle reflector suits, ghoulish robes, futuristic jackets and leather biker gear not made for the faint of heart. The show is meticulously styled by Katie Shillingford but a surprising number of pieces could be styled into a real wardrobe.

Gareth Pugh’s latest collection is, in my head at least, wearable. Which is great for the designer and also for Bill Cunningham. I don’t know how many more surprises the guy can handle.

1. Are those actual bleachers? Wow, they’re wobbling…

2. Front row: Linda Fargo, Julia Stiles, Olivier Zahm - wait, Olivier Zahm?

3. Nice, mostly dresses. Graphic, clean, good for a party.

4. Austria!

5. Madeleine!

6. Just realized this is where Rodarte was last season.

7. These dresses with anatomical lines kind of remind me of Marc’s Spring 08, except more graphic, and yet, less graphic.

8. No wait, really, why is Olivier Zahm at Cynthia Rowley?

9. The back straps on that final look, the Gravity-Defying dress, are genius. But a cardigan over it would make you look like you have a hump…

There was a fun little fact tucked in at the end of a longer story in WWD today:

Purple, everybody’s favorite magazine, is opening its first office in New York.

Olivier Zahm has announced that it will open in September, so we expect every 2008 grad to promptly freak out and try to land their first job / internship with the good people that put out images like these to make us all giggle in the middle of the work day.

Maybe that’s why we spotted him right in our neighborhood recently… will the office be in Soho?

Good luck!