About one minute into my trip to the new Paige Denim store in the West Village yesterday, I was a little miffed. Not because some guy muttered something about “artfully destroyed jeans” to me as I walked in, but because I went there specifically for the Petites Line, which takes up about 1/16 of the store.

Which brings me to my greater question: Why exactly are jeans so incredibly long? My “petite” jeans I bought yesterday came with a tag that reads, “This collection offers perfect proportions for the petite. Rather than simply cropping the length, this garment has been rescaled and tailored to accomodate [sic] the woman who is 5’4” and under.” Which is interesting, seeing as how the average height for the female American woman is 5’4” (and that statistic doesn’t take into account all the still-growing teenage girls who probably buy more jeans than all the rest of us combined).

It’s not that I’m naive about these things. I stare at and mull over fashion for a living, so I am fully aware that most designs are intended for people that don’t even exist. But you’d think that such an ordinary item wouldn’t be subject to the idea that everybody’s 5’10 and 85 pounds (and I won’t even bother to present the argument that making people-size jeans would help the cost since less fabric should equal less money - my petites are always the same price as their foot-longer counterparts).

So does anyone have the missing piece of information to this mystery? Because it would really help my weekend.

Amazing news for everyone’s legs and asses!

Paige Denim, makers of the only jeans I actually spend my money on, is opening its own boutique in New York!

Yes, they’re already available at Bloomingdale’s, but any time we can avoid a major avenue / department store, we’re happy.

The new Paige boutique will be at 869 Washington, near the Scoops, making it an incredibly convenient stop if you’re into brunching then shopping in Meatpacking on Sundays starting, November 24th.

Here’s to hoping they include the petite line..

Shopping trips, no matter the goal, inevitably turn into another leg of my neverending quest for the perfect pair of jeans.

My biggest denim issue has always been length - it seems like every pair is made for the Elle McPhersons of the world, while I hover just above the 5’0” mark. Oh, just get them hemmed, you say? Well, that wouldn’t be such a pain if it didn’t:

1. Automatically add $25 to the pair of already way-too-expensive pants.

2. Put my purchase at risk of butchery (I once had a pair of very expensive jeans ruined by someone who took them up just 1 inch too high - yes, that’s all it takes.)

3. Make me feel like life is so incredibly unfair for all the short people, unless you’re an Olsen.

But after an unusually successful department store trip this past MLK day, consider me satisfied (at least for now.)

I finally got around to trying out the petite line from Paige Jeans (owned by Fred Kayne, father to Jenni), and I have to say, they’re amazing. Not only are they subtly flattering (which is really all we want from jeans), but the second I slid them on - and could feel only the floor beneath my feet - I knew I was going to walk out of a store with wear-ready jeans for the first time ever.

Now if I could only convince shoe designers that 5.5 is a worthwhile size to include in their normal lines, I’d be all set.