“Many of you have asked if I have any tips on how to get leggings on quicker. My in-house leggings guru advises rubbing onto your legs a paste made from five spoonfuls of extra-virgin olive oil, turbinado sugar, and coarsely ground fair-trade coffee. If you have any further problems, then next week I’ll be recommending a truly great creative-leggings clinic.” —Gwyneth Paltrow’s diary as imagined by Vanity Fair.

A picture is worth a thousand words, and in the world of fashion journalism, it is our job to supply those thousand words to dissect pictures.

Sometimes fashion throws a new trend our way that makes us go “Huh?” and we have to make do until someone somewhere coins a succinct term. For example, we originally struggled with the trompe l’oeil jeans, settling on “Faux-Denim Leggings”, before the term “jeggings” entered our vocabulary.

Or “treggings” (substitute “trousers” for “jeans”), as our British counterparts, and now the Collins English Dictionary, call them.

Our first thought when we saw this photo: weird.

American Apparel introduces: Kids Shiny Leggings.

AA is known for some out-there products (slashed leggings, all-mesh dresses) but their selection of kids clothes has been pretty tame until now.

Now, I like leggings, and I like shiny things, but the combination of the two was just never for me, unless I was going to an 80s rocker party. And when I saw them on this little cutie, I thought, “Oh, come on now, do we really have to try and push kids into these tacky eyesores?”

Love Me: The LOVE staff, including Tim Clifton-Green and his perfect hat, spent the afternoon perusing The Armani Times. Rubbish Mag, one more reason we wish we lived in London (or Britt does). {LOVEblog}

Greener Pastures: This made us so giggly and excited, we’re a little embarrassed. There was not a cooler shade on the runway all season, and now it’s coming to real life. Hooray! {BeautyCounter}

Renzo to the Rescue: Sophia Kokosalaki apparently scored a big enough paycheck from Diesel to get her own company back too. Well played. {VogueUK}

Nine Daughters and a Stereo: There’s no headline better than the actual name of this model agency in Cologne of all places. Rick Owens and Raf Simons think they’re way cool. We agree. {DazedDigital}

Jess, 19, British fashion student.

Got Her: Outside the Anna Sui store in Soho.

Stalked Her: Because she looked cool and age appropriate.

Shot Her: Because she looked cool and age appropriate (sometimes, it’s that easy).

She Says: “I run around all day and I can’t wear heels. I’ve been wearing Converse since I was a kid and they’ve just become a big part of my style. And the colored tights are from my mum’s closet, they’re like, vintage nylon tights from the ’70s. It’s an easy way to look like you’ve done something with your style, even if you haven’t!”

We Say: Love at first tight!

To: Natalie@Fashionista.com

From: Timothy@Elle.com

Laura Dahl’s Longfellow leggings will be featured this Wednesday morning on the Today Show and we need a tall and long-legged model to be featured wearing them!

The stats are below. We will need all contact info asap…Thanks!

Availability: Wed, March 26th 9am to 11am
Place: Today Show Studios - Rock Center
Age: Mid 20’s to Early 30’s
Height: 5’10” +++
Specifics: LONG legs

So e-mail info@lauradahl.com if you think you can pull these off 7am.

Good luck!

The challenge: Christian Lacroix’s ombre tights.

The strategy: Dip-dye

What you’ll need: A box of navy blue powder dye - try the sewing kits/cleaning supplies section at Duane Reade; a pair of opaque, white tights (American Apparel); A wastebasket; Large wooden spoon.

Step One: Fill the wastebasket with the hottest water possible. (You might want to line the wastebasket to make clean up easier). Add in the powdered dye and stir a little. Let the dye steep until its good and blue, about five minutes.

Step Two: Get your tights really wet so they can absorb the dye. Then, holding from the top, dip the feet into the blue solution until they’re covered up to the knee. Immediately start to pull them out so this section remains the palest blue.

Step Three: Slowly continue to pull the tights out of the solution. This process is designed so the bottoms of the tights are the darkest navy and the tops are white, so hold the knee part in the dye for only a few seconds per dip. Continue dipping tights into the solution until the bottom is a shade darker than you want - this took us about 3 or 4 dips, over 15 minutes.

Step Four: Rinse the tights in the sink with cold water, but only from the top. Keep rinsing until the water runs clear. Do not ring the tights out - you’ll get splotches that look more tie-dye than dégradé.

Step Five: Hang tights to dry overnight. We suggest a manicure during this time off since your hands will now resemble a Smurf’s.

Step Six: When absolutely bone dry, slip on your new tights and prepare to be inundated with compliments.

Voilà

—BRETT KANE