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Mergers And Acquisitions: They Seem To Be Catching On

Picture 1455.pngIn which Commenter Girl reads the Times wedding section and proceeds to callously and unjustifiably assign a random “market value” to complete strangers by virtue of the fact that they work in the finance industry, and are begging for it.

Well well well. It seems that after last week’s EBITDA Cinderella story, all similar unions have been cast underground for fear of inclusion in today’s write-up. To which I say: cowards! Wither the couples lathering each other up with reference to yield curves? Hiding, apparently, ‘cause we know they’re out there. This weekend’s batch of weddings was virtually unmockable (especially since we’d been spoiled by Mr. and Mrs. Fredston last week). And yet, we forge ahead, confident that there will be many more nuptials capable of making you upchuck your lunch ahead. (Also, our pain was eased by a strong cocktail at the finish…more on that later.)

Lindsay Burton, Thomas Sheehan

* Mrs. Sheehan, 25, is an associate at AlpInvest Partners, where she focuses on purchasing positions in private investment funds from endowments and other institutional investors. (+5, I like me a smart cookie)

* She graduated from the University of Virginia. (-1)

* Her father is a professor of economics at the University of Virginia. (+2)

* Her mother is the president of the Charlottesville Garden Club. (+ only 5, because we haven’t seen her phalaenopsis nursery yet)

* No word on his mother, whose gardening skills we can only assume are not sufficiently up to snuff enough for mention (-6)

* Mr. Sheehan, 35, is a vice president and portfolio manager at Inverness Counsel, asset managers in New York. (+5)

* He graduated from Yale (+1)

* His father is a partner in the New York law firm Curtis, Mallet-Prevost, Colt & Mosle, where he is a chairman of the trusts and estates department. (+3)

* Does anyone else think they look alike? (+10)

Total: 24

Continue reading Mergers And Acquisitions: They Seem To Be Catching On

Love Is In The Air: Mergers And Acquisitions Is Back!

Picture 1416.pngIt’s been quite a while since we read the Times wedding section and proceeded to callously and unjustifiably assign a random “market value” to complete strangers by virtue of the fact that they work in the finance industry, hasn’t it? But it’s time we had some fun again and we can think of no greater fun than a couple sent to us from 2006, who uses earnings measure acronyms as foreplay. Starting today DB regular and all-around favorite Commenter Girl will select those who seem to be practically begging for it and serve them up for your consumption.

Can you feel it yet? The sand between your toes, having to block your Beirut table from the ocean breeze, the fragrant stink of burning meat on the grill: all of these things mean one thing kiddos: Love is in the Air. And oh, what sweet love stories the NYTimes troopered out for us this weekend.

Like the marriage of Rochelle Francis Gores and David Arthur Fredston-Hermann (the couple shall be known as Mr. and Mrs. Fredston, should you want to send them a gift). They were married this Saturday afternoon in Beverly Hills. And they were married by a Rabbi and a Maronite Priest (so progressive! +1). But who cares about that shit. They have a legacy, and indeed a love story, so unbelievably financey, that it could only be surpassed if they had met in the comments section of Dealbreaker.

Herewith, we re-inaugurate the long-dormant DB wedding index, Mergers and Acquisitions, in which we get all judgey up on those willing to pledge their love to each other for eternity.

So True to Form it’s not even funny, unless you happen to be a fictional Leveraged Sell-Out character from 2006:

* “The bride’s father is the founder of the Gores Group, an investment firm that buys and manages both established and newer businesses.” (+2)

* he bridegroom’s father founded FH International, a hedge fund in Harrison, NY (+10, hedge fund still sounds cooler than investment firm)

* “The bridegroom is the president and founder of Long Green Capital Management, a hedge fund in Los Angeles, that focuses on older concerns, including railroads, fertilizer producers and coal companies.” (+13)

* “He graduated from Bates College.” (-4)

* “She graduated from Western Michigan University.” (-10)

* Both moms do community service (+15, way to keep it real)

* Although the Bride’s mom supports some hippy dippy artists in residence in Michigan (-8)

So far we are even keeling it at +18. Where the couple excels, however, is courtship. Yes, the line “My daddy would never pay more than five [times Ebitda]” will be uttered.

Continue reading Love Is In The Air: Mergers And Acquisitions Is Back!

CVC Capital Partners

I know this is sort of vague but any information whatsoever that I couldn’t glean off of their website would be much appreciated…

Comments

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Entry: Sad News From Barclays

posted by girl

May 28, 2009 2:39PM

This is incredibly sad. May his family and friends find the strength to deal with their loss.

Bess is reporting this because it has to do with a community and culture of which you are all a part. How about a little introspection and a lot less negativity? This thread certainly isn't the appropriate place for it.

RIP

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Entry: Sad News From Barclays

posted by girl

May 28, 2009 3:24PM

@ 60 Very true. Many people who simply lack the guts and intellect to strike out on their own end up rising through the ranks by default, taking out their medicority and bitterness on really bright kids like this one.

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Entry: Opening Bell: 06.01.09

posted by girl

Jun 01, 2009 9:18AM

Oh God that is absolutely terrifying about the plane. Why are plane crashes happening so often these days?

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Entry: Opening Bell: 06.01.09

posted by girl

Jun 01, 2009 10:12AM

@ bandersnizatch

I never read it the first time. Care to summarize?

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Entry: Opening Bell: 06.01.09

posted by girl

Jun 01, 2009 11:54AM

@ 22 It appears to be an honest mistake, but I think you have me confused with your mother.

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Entry: New Arrival

posted by girl

Jun 01, 2009 12:23PM

One GM falls and another rises. Welcome to DB!

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Entry: Citi To Raise Fresh Capital?

posted by girl

Jun 01, 2009 2:27PM

Actually I think these girls have a pretty great idea apart from the unfortunate name choice. At any given point I think every girl in ny carries an extra pair of shoes, pashmina, laptop, sunglasses, toothbrush and probably cocktail dress for after work parties on her person. They definitely have room to expand the line into other products. (My 2 cents that inevitably no one will care about)

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Entry: Citi To Raise Fresh Capital?

posted by girl

Jun 01, 2009 2:33PM

@ 14 Har!

@15 Take a peek at the photo- there is a separate carrying case. Some people use cloth shoe bags. In other news, we smell like lilies all the time, so your question is sort of irrelevant.

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Entry: Citi To Raise Fresh Capital?

posted by girl

Jun 01, 2009 2:36PM

@ 17, absolutely. But this makes them more compact, which is an added bonus.

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Entry: No More Nukes

posted by girl

Jun 02, 2009 2:29PM

@ 6

I think it was made pretty clear that GS wasn't responsible for their positions plunging; they plunged because LTCM depended far too much on the probability of their models succeeding and on Haghani's reckless bets. By the time GS was brought in to look at their books, they were already on the outs...hence why they were even allowed to do so in the first place. They probably took a few opportunities that anyone in their position would have capitalized on.

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Entry: Would You Like To Hear Our Specials?

posted by girl

Jun 03, 2009 9:37AM

EP,

First things first, you aren't on vacation- you are in your pathetic little apartment in fly-over state chewing on your mangy hair whilst rocking back and forth and mumbling to yourself.

No one cares for your 'words of wisdom' nor your 3rd-rate satire. You were never able to adapt your writing to the times or the desires of your reader, and that's why you were promptly disposed of. Now please go back to posting your absurdly loquacious diatribes on your own website.

With Kind Regards.

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Entry: Would You Like To Hear Our Specials?

posted by girl

Jun 03, 2009 1:43PM

I post/write here because it's fun and a nice diversion from the day. I don't think anyone gets paid to do so; to my knowledge the site isn't that desparate for commentary. EP's just a nutcase, more so than TGFD (no offense old man! Keep on keeping on)

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Entry: Let's Get Together And Have A Good Cry, Courtesy Of The CFA Institute

posted by girl

Jun 03, 2009 3:34PM

Hahah...Given they are different exams but that's how I felt before the gmat. Hate to tell you that you probably won't absorb anything new in the next few days but it wouldn't be a bad idea to take a nice long run to calm your nerves. And take one of those friends up for dinner the night before- not a bad idea to go for steak (protein keeps you sharp).

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Entry: Let's Get Together And Have A Good Cry, Courtesy Of The CFA Institute

posted by girl

Jun 03, 2009 4:16PM

@ Merkin, Anytime. Make sure to come back for next week's installment: Sweet Bean Bags (to Jazz up you Dorm Room).

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Entry: Who Wants To Buy Some Stuffed Animal Heads (For A Good Cause)?

posted by girl

Jun 04, 2009 11:56AM

Looks like he was trying to re-populate Noah's ark; I don't think anyone told him they had to be kept alive...

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Entry: Lehman Brothers High Coming Soon

posted by girl

Jun 04, 2009 2:56PM

Let's be clear- this isn't 'opening up finance to the masses', it is allowing kids at a particular school to learn more about an industry into which the majority of them will- with near certainty- be entering after graduation from college. This is a boarding school after all- you learn how to balance a checkbook before you learn to do your own laundry.

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Entry: Lehman Brothers High Coming Soon

posted by girl

Jun 04, 2009 3:24PM

@ Anal My point is this: I don't think this is a wasted opportunity. We used to have pretty elaborate astronomy labs @ my school- who the f-- goes into astronomy anyhow? No one I know. The money would be better spent cultivating interest and knowledge in a profession that most people WILL go into at some point in their lives.

As for the laundry, there is a service. But they lose shit all the time, or give the boys your underwear by mistake. Better to do it yourself.

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Entry: Lehman Brothers High Coming Soon

posted by girl

Jun 04, 2009 4:17PM

The sciences get ample coverage through the standard curriculum- usually biology first yr, followed by chemistry and then a year of physics. This isn't so much encouraging people to become traders as it is actually showing them what such a career is all about. On the contrary, for many students it may serve to expose the banality of it all. Either way, I don't see how exposing young adults to various industries can possibly be seen as a bad thing. Experiential learning is the way forward...

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Entry: Dealbreaker Theater Review: Monetizing Emma

posted by girl

Jun 18, 2009 1:39PM

Huh. Interesting concept and review. Thanks

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Entry: Does Lloyd Blankfein Let His Clothes Talk For Him?

posted by girl

Oct 27, 2009 12:18PM

@13 me too.