With New Moon imminently on the rise, our friends at StyleList conducted survey of cold ones inspired beauty. The results? Nearly 10% of respondents caved to the idea of having or investigating fang implants.

Um, what? Even 1% would seem really high. Certainly fashion statements have often taken cues from pop culture, but this just seems ridiculous.

Apparently, there are two types of canines to be bought. The first is a temporary cover that can be fitted and fashioned to fit into your bite (Lady Gaga was spotted smiling with these a few months back). The more permanent option—a cap—needs to be put on by a cosmetic dentist. Lengths, style and size can be customized. And pricing starts at $100 a tooth.

Lest you think we’ve completely lost our minds, let us tell you that last night we sat across the table at Rose Bar from a girl actually wearing fangs. So this trend is happening whether we like it or not. And as much as we love a cheesy teenage vamp flick or a semi-evil Eric, we’re going to go with not. You?

We probably think this post is about us…and in a lot of ways it is.

According to a report compiled by TotalBeauty.com, New York is the vainest city in the US. The study examined data like plastic surgeon to population ratios, number of personal care businesses (salons, day spas, etc.) and money spent on beauty upkeep.

Fact: New Yorkers spend nearly 60 million (yes, six. zero.) dollars on trying to make ourselves prettier each year. And there are more than three times the amount of salons et. al in NYC than any other city, and that includes Los Angeles.

These stats got me thinking:

—Do we New Yorkers feel pressure to be pretty because models and all-around beautiful people can be found at every turn? (Agyness Deyn is always at my am coffee spot. Yes, it makes me feel less than lithe and lovely early in the morning.)

As I was shopping around some of my favorite beauty sites, in hopes of finding a quickie purchase to ease the onset of depression that comes with the sun setting in the middle of the afternoon, I came upon something at L’Artisan Parfumeur that continues to boggle my mind: a $10,000 perfume.

That’s right, for the cost of a used car you can have your own exclusive scent fashioned by Parisian perfumer L’Artisan Parfumeur.

The noses at the haute house have created seven exclusive scents (there’s no number 5 for obvious reasons), accompanied by a certificate of authenticity. Buyers are granted four 100ml, 50 ml and 15 ml bottles at first purchase.

Refills are available for the certificate holder only at $450 for 100ml. The document may be willed or gifted, so the personalized scent can outlive its purchaser. Can you imagine willing someone perfume? That’s just plain ridiculous even in a booming economy.

This begs another question: Does the value reflect market conditions or does it increase with age?

Raise your hand if you think Gisele is gorgeous. How about Adriana Lima, the Fernandas and Madonna’s Jesus? Yeah, we pretty much agree that Brazil has bestowed upon us some of the world’s most beautiful people.

So when a friend emailed us this link this morning, we found the recent study cited rather curious. According to this, Brazilians and Americans view physical beauty differently. Researchers pointed to feature position and culture as the culprit in this varying POV. Interesting, as of course cultural differences have always played a part in views on beauty.

But how does that explain the global unanimity on the aforementioned beautiful ones? Our guess: Fashion and all its trappings is its own very stand-alone culture. Just refer back to that quote of the day from this morning.

The other day I watched Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, a cheeky, cult movie about a girl band written by—wait for it—Roger Ebert.

The story is silly and the cast earned master degrees in schmacting. But it’s a classic for a reason—the costumes are amazing, the makeup is pure perfection and the hair is beyond refreshing. After years of stringy and over-dyed, limp extensions, it was actually inspirational to see overdone bouffants with some serious lift at the roots. It seems like I’m not alone. Madonna’s hair has been getting higher and higher lately as has Janet’s and my fave Spanish actress Penelope (see the video below) always rocks enviably high, sexy hair.

Dear Rihanna,

Hi, it’s us checking in again. Today’s topic: your lips. Because we’re in the market for something new to try and frankly your sartorial choices of late aren’t really office-appropriate, you know with the transparent tops and all.

So imagine our glee (another current obsession!) when you popped up in Paris with pretty purple lips. Those shots of you at the shows in not one, but two, different shades of that royal color made us imagine we could do it too. It’s like an evolved version of the black shades that we’ve already moved on from.

SNL’s Deep House Dish may have been creating a mock rivalry between ultimate icon Madonna and current talk-of-every-town GaGa, but the sketch did illustrate that there are a few requirements to being a dominating diva.

Here, four of the key elements that led to these two conquering the charts and the monde of mode:

1. Eschew pants, of course. After dedicating unlimited hours to yoga, Pilates and the Anderson Method, assets must be placed front and center.

2. Become a blonde. Both Gaga (nee Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) and Madge (born Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone) ditched their brunette roots years ago.

3. Lash Out. Overdone eyes are de rigueur for aspiring performers. Rumors of Madonna sporting mink lashes by Shu Uemura on her R-Invention tour spawned the company’s new Luxe line, a synthetic version featuring criss-crossed strands for a more dramatic effect. Or try applying the individual Make Up For Ever to create a customized look. And the only-at-Sephora fiber-infused Fiberwig mascara promises fluttering—and lengthened—lashes without the hassle of glue.

4. Bestie up with MJ. Duh.