Time Out Hong Kong finally put its very bizarre and extremely entertaining interview with Tom Ford online. While some quotes about his thoughts on parenthood made the rounds last week, we finally got to read the whole thing this morning and almost spit out our coffee at several points. (Like when he recounted the tale of a German journalist questioning whether the flowers in his room were fake or not, because Americans have a lot of fake things.)

The Hong Kong-based journalist attempted to ask Ford questions ranging from his new movie to beauty standards in Asia, and he was met with some strongly worded responses, to say the least. Here are some of the best excerpts:

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