10 Questions for The Hills

Because you knew it had to happen... 10. Hey girl

Because you knew it had to happen... 10. Hey girls, how’d you get Karl Lagerfeld's bodyguard to pick you up from the airport? 9. Who has let Whitney intern at W without saying "Givenchy" ?! 8. How much did Alberta Ferretti pay for that product placement? And how hard is Annelise Peterson smiling right now? 7. Natalie wants me to discuss Heidi's plastic surgery, but I have a better issue: Has anyone else noticed that Heidi’s face in the opening credits is like two seconds long, compared to the five seconds for Whitney, Audrina, and Lauren? 6. Who noticed the paparazzi shooting Lauren as she left Colette? 5. Raise your hand if you prefer Whitney naked, and not in a Ferretti ballgown? 4. How much weight has Spencer gained?!!!! 3. Wait, Lauren: 20 minutes is a SHORT shower? 2. Why doesn't someone take the snow shovel and hit Spencer with it? Over the head? ***At this point in the program, Faran would like to point out that when she went to Paris last year to work for Teen Vogue, she took the Metro everywhere and had no driver… and had no itinerary… though Vogue and Teen Vogue’s Paris bureau staff were unbelievable and amazing. I feel bad for Lauren and Whitney that they weren't introduced to them; they massively missed out. And now, back to the show*** 1. Indie rock bands just sort of hang at the Plaza Athenee? What? 0. Raise your hand if you screamed to the television, "Lauren, do not wear your ballgown to a nightclub"?! -1. OMG chest hair. OMG silly French jealousy. OMG. -2. Whitney,you thought you’d get to style the Crillon Ball? What?! -3. So, which MTV producer switched on that curling iron when you weren't looking? -4. Did anyone else notice they played the same rock song that's in the Sex and the City finale? And that made it sort of a party foul? -5. Is there a perverse pleasure in watching Whitney and Lauren stand to the side as other rich girls get pampered and photographed at this Crillon Ball? -6. Did Princess Beatrice sign up for this crap? Oh no, she did not. -7. "PERHAPS YOU SHOULD PURSUE THAT, WHITNEY" ?! -8. LC, you already ruined one ball gown and now you're gonna get on a Vespa in another one? -9. Audrina, why are you letting Heidi into your house? Don't you know Lauren has control issues? -10. Kelly Cutrone, where have you been all our lives?! YAY!

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