1. Excuse me, how many curlers does Laura need every morning? Last time I checked, she’s not rocking Kim Kardashian’s waves or anything.
2. Don’t Anya’s ears hurt from wearing those gigantic earrings everyday?
3. Did Joshua just lick a bolt of fabric at Mood? Does he just miss licking things or is it some kind of test?
4. Why do they get to finish their days before 11pm? Pretty sure they’re the only people in fashion who get to go to bed that early.
5. Why aren’t the designers trying to sabotage each other at this point? Stop playing nice!
6. If you guys want to start your own lines, don’t you think you should get used to cockroaches being around? Take a preemptive Xanax in anticipation of their appearances; your first studio will likely be full of them.
7. Joshua, why are you so pissed that Anya keeps winning things with only four months of sewing? Haven’t you heard of that girl Kira Plastinina? She had an international chain of stores and I’m pretty sure she didn’t even know how to thread a needle.
8. Don’t you wish you had your own personal Tim Gunn to administer hugs on your darkest days?
9. Laura, do you realize your outfit is a sexed-up mother of the Bat Mitzvah girl look? The feathery neckline says it all.
10. Can we outlaw all man cleavage next season to ensure Joshua’s wardrobe atrocities don’t come back to offend us a second time? Enough is enough!