What goes around always does seem to come back around, particularly when you're talking about fashion. Designers are constantly taking inspiration from vintage looks and reinterpreting them as the newest fad. Generally, the resulting trends are chic, fun, and maybe most importantly, harmless--we'd be lost without our 1960s shift dresses and 1970s maxi skirts! But what about a trend that potentially references a fascist regime? The New York Times reported that young men all over New York (and basically every metropolitan area worldwide) are asking their barbers for the “Hitler Youth” haircut – buzzed on the sides, floppy on top, and swooshed back with a bit of pomade.
We've certainly seen our fair share of culturally offensive fashion lately, from American Apparel's tasteless "Asian Conical Hat" to Forever 21's cheapo Oriental Girl Necklace - and who could forget the whole Navajo trademark infringement fiasco involving Urban Outfitters, Barneys and everyone's mother (including us). And while most wearers of the “Hitler Youth” cut probably aren't out to offend anyone (it was a really popular look in the 1930s, not just for little Nazis), the trend has certainly raised a few eyebrows.
It definitely got us thinking – what other offensive hairstyles should never, ever come back? Here's a list of some of the greatest offenders of the past half-century. It's always amusing to reminisce, but really, how would you react if your sig other came home with a middle-parted mushroom?? That's what we thought. Read on.
Flock of Seagulls
Arguably one of the most recognizable hairstyles of all time, this sculptural Flock of Seagulls 'do was certainly not for the faint of hair. I'm personally willing to do everything in my power to keep this forward comb-over/Something About Mary/demon-horn look where it belongs... in a far-away place called the 1980s.
Sort of an extreme Afro-version of the “Hitler Youth.” Simultaneously appalling and extremely impressive.
Gigantic, teased, Aquanetted-til-you-wheezed 80's hair was not a trend that merely phased out: The government had it outlawed after all that aerosol-use created a gaping hole in the Earth's ozone layer. And that, my friends, was the beginning of global warming.
Young guys in the 90s didn't have to do much to make the ladies swoon. They simply trimmed up their childhood bowl cut and parted it down the center. Presto – instant babe-status.
Stringy Synthetic Extensions
Extensions were still relatively new to the mainstream in the early 2000s. Suddenly you could instantly add length and volume to spruce up any basic hairstyle. But why stop there, when you could add colors? Lots of marvellous, stringy, synthetic colors???
If only Frederic Auguste Bartholdi had designed Lady Liberty with a nice flippy bob, we might never have had to suffer through this travesty of a hairstyle. Looks painful.
Hugh Grant Flop
The middle-parted mushroom's douchier cousin.
In reference to a potential suitor, Mya somewhat famously sang in her not-quite hit single “Free”: “Don't want your curl juice drippin' all over my Mercedes seat.” Well said – we don't want that either. Gross.
The female mushroom of the 1970s. Even Dorothy Hamill parted ways with this one – and though the split was reportedly amicable, we sincerely hope the wedge stays very, very far away and never returns.
You know the saying: Business in the front, party in the back. But if you're still rocking a mullet these days, the only party you're going to is some form of animal roast. Or a school bus demolition derby. (We still love you, Uncle Jesse!)