Do Not Try This at Home: The Most Outrageous Looks from the Men's Shows

The men's shows just wrapped and haute couture has already started. But before we start analyzing Bill Gaytten's latest efforts for Dior couture, let's take a look back at the amazing over-the-top-ness that happened at the fall menswear shows in Milan and Paris. I always love the menswear shows because the runway looks are much more extreme, much more Zoolander. There were coats with peacock feather tails, men wearing headbands that read 'I Love Black Cock,' a model in a gas mask, Minotaur-inspired bejeweled nose rings, and some serious bed head. OK on the runway. Not OK in real life. Men, please, do not try this at home.
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The men's shows just wrapped and haute couture has already started. But before we start analyzing Bill Gaytten's latest efforts for Dior couture, let's take a look back at the amazing over-the-top-ness that happened at the fall menswear shows in Milan and Paris. I always love the menswear shows because the runway looks are much more extreme, much more Zoolander. There were coats with peacock feather tails, men wearing headbands that read 'I Love Black Cock,' a model in a gas mask, Minotaur-inspired bejeweled nose rings, and some serious bed head.

OK on the runway. Not OK in real life. Men, please, do not try this at home.

Just a sampling from the phun phallus phest that was Bernhard Willhelm's fall show. Attention hipsters of Bedford Ave.: Do not do this with your plaids.

Popeye proportioned football silhouettes, Hellraiser masks, oh Thom Browne, you never disappoint. A good look for your next Match.com date. Hopefully your date will have heeded Cathy Horyn's advice and be wearing Prada's hot rod stilettos.

These rather terrifying Clockwork Orange-on-acid-plus-S&M-mask looks brought to you by Belgian designer Walter Van Beirendonck. The masks are so scary I barely noticed the clothes. After you've gone on your first date in Thom Browne, this is obviously the perfect 'meet the parents' outfit.

Etro gives us the mullet coat. That is a serious party in the back.

No reports of falling on the runways so apparently Raf Simons' models could see through their hair. But so the question remains: does the carpet match the drapes?

Sometimes fashion is toxic. At Adam Kimmel, a helpful gas mask.

Riccardo Tisci would like you grab the bull by his blingy nose ring and fancy hipster sweatshirt at Givenchy.