Can you tell that we're seriously, unabashedly obsessed with the Olympics here at Fashionista? Well, we are. It's difficult not to be--what with Ryan Lochte running swimming around all shirtless and Gabby Douglas being generally adorable, it's a major exercise (ha!) in our willpower to focus on anything else.
And we aren't alone! In addition to the absolute Olympics media takeover and constant text alerts we've been getting from the New York Times (ugh spoilers!), we found this piece by Aliza Licht aka DKNY PR Girl about another type of sport with which we're all too familiar--the fashion game.
"The truth is I find it amazing at how much attention the world is giving a singular sport," Licht told us. "Imagine if the world was ever paying that close of attention to anything else we all do?"
Obviously, we took this as a challenge to do just that--plus we were totally inspired by her metaphorical likening of the fashion PR game to the Games in London. Honestly, any girl who's ever walked around in those McQueen armadillo platforms deserves an honorary gold medal--though she'd be hard pressed to actually make it onto a podium without tripping. "As professional adults, we may not 'play' sports, but we jump through massive hurdles daily--especially in fashion," Licht told us, adding "Post [fashion week] I swear we all deserve awards or at least a cool t-shirt that says 'I survived Fashion Week'. I would totally wear it if it was fitted." So would we, Aliza. So would we.
But the PR biz isn't the only fashion game of Olympic proportions. What about blogging, tweeting, interning, and yes, successful party hopping? These things take legitimate skill, do they not? So we're here to bring you our own spin on the Olympics--the Fashion Olympics, if you will--with a little help from Aliza who was kind enough to suggest some of the categories. We've got the games' objectives, the stylish contenders, even a scoring system. Now all we need are some precious metals and a few good sponsors. Tiffany? Cartier? Are you reading this?
Fashion Olympics Event: Front Row Social Media Stakeout
Objective: Send out maximum number of tweets/Instagrams within the time span of one runway show. Points added for: Clever hashtags, multiple retweets, proper filter use in unpredictable lighting. Points deducted for: Autocorrect errors, overusing Valencia. Favored to win: DKNY PR Girl, John Jannuzzi, Joe Zee
Fashion Olympics Event: Street Style Peacocking
Objective: Wind up all over the internet on the most street style blogs. Points added for: Getting on The Sartorialist, Tommy Ton, Street Peeper, and of course, getting snapped by Bill Cunningham for the Times. Points deducted for: Walking back and forth outside of Lincoln Center or the Tuileries (you know who you are), wearing Balenciaga’s Vader visor. Favored to win: Miroslava Duma, Anna Dello Russo, Giovanna Battaglia
Fashion Olympics Event: Intern All-Around
Objective: Please as many higher ups as possible within a twelve week period, deliver garment bags at record pace (weight vs. distance vs. time alotted), memorize complex Starbucks orders. Points added for: Going above and beyond the call of coffee runs, general efficiency, remembering names, and surviving on ramen. Points deducted for: Taking out a class action suit against your former dictators employer. Favored to win: Our interns, obvi!
Fashion Olympics Event: Beauty Editor BS-ing
Objective: Come up with 30 ways to describe red lipstick, convincingly feign interest in 100 new nail polish collections. Points added for: Getting samples of the latest Chanel polish before anyone else, describing pubic hair grooming trends without making anyone vom. Points deducted for: Refusal to share beauty swag with less entitled colleagues. Favored to win: Jean Godfrey-June, Eva Chen, Emily Weiss
Fashion Olympics Event: Runway Marathon
Objective: Book and literally walk in as many shows as make up an actual marathon. In 5" stilettos. Points added for: Closing and/or opening Prada, Chanel, Calvin Klein. Actually getting paid. Points deducted for: Falling, full boob slips, succumbing to a diet of celery and cigarettes. Favored to win: Karlie Kloss, Natasha Poly, Daiane Conterato
Fashion Olympics Event: Designers' Challenge
Objective: Figure out what Anna Wintour wants. Points added for: Setting trends, pissing off editors because your show is that exclusive. Points deducted for: Getting a little too "inspired" by your peers, dating Kim Kardashian. Favored to win: Marc Jacobs, Nicholas Ghesquière, Phoebe Philo
Fashion Olympics Event: Fashion Party Hopping
Objective: Maintain professional integrity whilst downing complimentary champers and martinis you’d ordinarily be unable to afford. Points added for: Dodging all the tiny cheeseburgers and quail eggs passed your way, snatching swag bags like it wun't nuttin'. Points deducted for: Stumbling, giving your number to the male models-cum-servers, doing the Elaine dance in front of your EIC. Favored to win: Derek Blasberg, Andrew Bevan, the Brant Brothers
Fashion Olympics Event: Blogger Beatdown
Objective: Secure more unique visits and page views than competitors in one post Points added for: Not sleeping, developing carpal tunnel, creating news when there is no news, securing a current photo of Choupette. Points deducted for: Vision loss due to Twitter scanning, time stamp tampering, spilling coffee on yourself. Favored to win: Susie Bubble, The Cut, and us, of course!
Fashion Olympics Event: Backstage Hustle
Objective: Apply hair/ponytail extensions in record time, dress girls who've seemingly lost the ability Points added for: Convincing models to wear Kanye's shoes, bleaching and re-dying eyebrows with minimal hair loss. Points deducted for: Burns from various hot hair tools, visible double sided tape, faulty false lashes, smudged nail art. Favored to win: Pat McGrath, Guido, Val Garland
Fashion Olympics Event: Fashion Photog Freak Out
Objective: Snap as many (flattering!) photos of industry insiders, models and all-around people-of-interest, despite their speed and efforts to evade you Points added for: Getting Anna Wintour or Victoria Beckham to smile, capturing celeb VIPs in compromising positions Points deducted for: Pushing and shoving, stealing your subject's thunder with attention-grabbing clothes or antics Favored to win: Terry Richardson, Bill Cunningham