The Clothes: This was my first Abbey Dawn show, and admittedly, I went into it with my fair share of doubts, which I tried to put aside for at least a few moments, anyway. After all, the critically lauded Olsen Twins and Victoria Beckham were both prominent pop culture phenoms prior to their designing days. And lest we forget, Avril Lavigne is a 'complicated' soul (see what I did there?)--who was I to judge her many, erm, talents, based on premonition alone?
But I was so, so wrong. Wrong in thinking this show would consist of anything other than skull motifs, studs, spikes, and super-controversial f-word prints. There was ripped denim. There was leather (pleather?). There was black lace. There was a tee that read "I Fucking Love You Bitch" inside a heart (aww!). And garters with no stockings attached. Obviously. Pieces had names like 'Hellraiser,' 'Play Me,' 'Ghoul School,' and 'F*ck Off Forever.' BTW Avril Lavigne is in her late-20s. Just sayin'.
Hair and Makeup: Giant Cinnabon buns, many with neon extensions wrapped in, topped off with little velcro-y studs. Some girls had neon clip-in bangs. Eyes were thickly rimmed with kohl, just like Avril wears. It's like pretty much the xXxpunk rockxXx version of Olivier Theyskens!
Soundtrack: All Avril, all the time. The show lasted approximately three songs(-too)-long. First came "Skater Boy," then a more obscure Avril song that apparently wasn't top-40 enough for me to recognize, and lastly, that Li'l Mama remix of "Girlfriend." And it's still stuck in my head now. Damn you, Lavigne!
Vibe: A mall fashion show for Hot Topic amped on Pixy Stix.
Front Row Celebs: Kendall Jenner, JoJo, girls possible texting each other, unidentifiable small children.
Celebrities We’d Most Like to See Wearing This Collection: Definitely Noah Cyrus. Remember her?
WTF Moment: Clearly, the main event here was the fact that 15-year-old Kylie Jenner was walking the show. She not only opened and closed the show, but also managed to pop into the middle somehow. Yet despite her fame and universal appeal, photographers kept shouting for and freaking out about "Kendall Jenner" (who sat front row, but didn't stick around for press). Poor thing, that would never happen to Kim. Maybe it's time to get a Kanye, young Jenner... Also spotted, a plethora of no-name reality tv fame whores stars queuing to walk the carpet post-show.
Swag: Not so much 'swag' as 'free samples.' There were booths set up with samples of Monster energy drinks, Baked by Melissa for Stoli cupcakes, and ThinkThin health bars (what are you trying to say, Avril??) and a Just Dance 4 booth for anyone too bored by the show itself.
What Kylie Jenner (Who P.S. is Wicked Sweet IRL) Had to Say: On why she was the only model not wearing synthetic neon hair: "I had the bangs before, and I didn't mind at all but Avril was like "wear em, don't wear em, whatever" and I was like... well I don't know so I just ended up taking them off."
On not wearing extensions in general: "I have a lot of hair. My hairdresser came to watch the show... and I had all these little spikes in my hair, and he was like ripping them out, and I was like "Oww! You're ripping my hair! And he goes "It's fake, it's fake!" And I was like... "This is not fake. You're ripping my hair!"
On her fav part of walking for Abbey Dawn: "Definitely the adrenaline. I love all the clothes, I love [Avril], so it's definitely an honor to walk in it and it was so fun!"
What the Line Sheet Said: Thank you for attending my show xoxo Avril!
Photos: Ashley Jahncke and Getty