Erm, we don't know where to start.
Calvin Klein's ex-boy toy Nick Gruber gave a very juicy interview to Page Six magazine about his two-year relationship with the designer--a teaser for a tell-all book he's apparently writing (working title: Obsession: My Life With Calvin Klein). If the book is anything like this interview, we'll bite.
From the lie-detector test Klein once made Gruber take to that one time Klein tried to order a "medium rare" burger at McDonald's, read on for the highlights:
• Nick basically turns everyone on:
"I don't know why, but there's, like, something about me that attracts everyone. I have a nickname called Romeo. I get every girl, and even guys. Something about me draws them all in."
• But he's not actually gay, OK? (His current boyfriend even "hooks Gruber up with women so he can sow his wild oats"):
Paradoxically, even though Gruber had an "exclusive" relationship with Klein for two-and-a-half years, he insists he is straight. There's no doubt that sex is his currency.
• Calvin Klein doesn't know how to order at McDonald's:
"I made Calvin go to McDonald's and have a Big Mac, and he asked if they had it medium rare."
• Klein once thought Gruber was cheating on him and made him take a lie detector test, which he supposedly passed:
"[Calvin] picked me up in his car, drove me down to the Holiday Inn in Chelsea, and we went downstairs in the basement of the hotel," he says, furrowing his brow.
According to Gruber, another man was waiting there with a lie detector. He said he was an ex-detective, and presented a business card bearing the name "Dr. Love."
• Gruber's new boyfriend, the 48-year-old John Luciano (grand nephew to mobster Lucky Luciano), says Nick's a combination of Kim Kardashian and Honey Boo Boo. And this:
"The most intimidating thing is having sex with your boyfriend and pulling down his pants and his ex-boyfriend's name is staring you right in the face."
In addition to the book, we can also expect to see a Nick Gruber reality show. Page Six is reporting that he turned down an offer from Bravo to work on his own pilot with Boondock Films.