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So Who's Taking Whom to the Met Ball?

Galliano's not going. See who is.
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The months leading up to the annual Costume Institute Gala are shrouded in secrecy, especially when it comes to two things: who's wearing what and who's bringing whom. And this year's punk theme should yield some interesting moments in both categories. However, we didn't think about how much of a challenge the former might be. Apparently, no one knows what to wear, especially when the dress code requires one to channel the punk movement, while still winning Anna Wintour's approval. Is such a thing even possible?

"We keep running into the same problem, which is that rich women don’t want to look punk, or grunge,” Decades' Cameron Silver, who's helping to dress people for the big day, told the New York Times' Eric Wilson. “Not that many women want to look like Nancy Spungen.”

Guests risk not being punk enough, not being formal and fashiony enough, and all looking the same. How many black dresses accessorized with safety pins are we going to see? Poor rich people. We feel really bad for them.

Let's change the subject to something less sad: which celebrities are going with which designers? Wilson got the scoop on some big names (none of which are confirmed because it's all a secret!) Here's what's rumored to go down, with a little help from WWD and the Post:

• Michael Kors is taking Jennifer Lopez

• Valentino is taking Gwyneth Paltrow

• Dior is taking Jennifer Lawrence and Marion Cotillard

• Alexander Wang is taking Julianne Moore for Balenciaga

• Tommy Hilfiger is hosting at his table and dressing (with a little help from Trash & Vaudeville) a very motley crew including Debbie Harry, Nicki Minaj, Zooey Deschanel, Lily Aldridge, screenwriter Jamie Linden, music publicist Jason Weinberg, musician Marky Ramone with wife Marion, actress Thalia Mottola, music executive Tommy Mottola, and Kings of Leon lead vocalist Caleb Followill

• Rodarte's Kate and Laura Mulleavy are taking Elle and Dakota Fanning (Aw, sisters!)

• Joseph Altuzarra is taking Allison Williams (who started doing research in March)

• Brian Atwood is taking Elizabeth Banks

• Christopher Kane is taking Stella Tennant

• Nina Ricci's Peter Copping is taking Carolyn Murphy

• Diane Von Furstenberg is taking Emma Roberts. Kate Upton will also be sitting at the designer's table

• Tory Burch is taking Jessica Alba

• Topshop is taking Jaime King and Julianne Hough

• Kenzo's Humberto Leon and Carol Lim are taking Solange Knowles

• Anthony Vaccarello is taking Gisele Bundchen

• Riccardo Tisci is taking fellow co-chair Rooney Mara

• Burberry is taking (rumored new face) Sienna Miller

• Peter Pilotto is taking Brooklyn Decker

• Samsung is taking Psy (Yes, Psy.)

• Saint Laurent is taking Greta Gerwig (we hear)

• John Galliano is not attending, even though his designs are featured in the exhibit. "One step at a time," Galliano's publicist Liz Rosenberg told the New York Post, when asked about whether the designer would attend the gala, adding, "and that’s one huge mother f - - kin’ staircase.” (We bow down Liz!)

• J.Mendel is taking Chanel Iman

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• Vivienne Westwood is taking Lily Cole

• Mindy Kaling is going with Allure and wearing Lela Rose (watch out for her tweets because if they're anything like her fake ones from New York Fashion Week, they're gonna be good)

• Suzy Menkes is wearing vintage Zandra Rhodes

• Lena Dunham will be wearing custom Erdem

• Diane Kruger will be wearing Chanel Haute Couture (and Joshua Jackson will NOT be wearing a mohawk)

• Gwen Stefani will wear custom Maison Martin Margiela

• Anna Wintour and January Jones will both be wearing Chanel

• Emmy Rossum, Hailee Steinfeld, Naomie Harris & Jennifer Morrison will all be in custom Donna Karan Atelier

• Abbey Lee Kershaw will be attending with Rag & Bone

• Kerry Washington will be wearing Vera Wang

• Minka Kelly and Emily Blunt will wear Carolina Herrera

• Karlie Kloss tweeted this sneak peek of her Louis Vuitton dress:

Sneak peek of my #MetBall gown... Can't wait for tonight with @voguemagazine @louisvuitton…

— Karlie Kloss (@karliekloss) May 6, 2013

• Alberta Ferretti is dressing Kate Beckinsale and Liya Kebede

• Moschino is bringing Lily Collins, Jamie Campbell Bower, Kylie Minogue, Pixie Geldof, Livia Firth and Carina Lau

• Coco Rocha will be wearing Emanuel Ungaro

• Riccardo Tisci's table includes Beyonce, Frank Ocean, Marina Abramovic, and Madonna.

• Miley Cyrus and Kelly Osbourne are wearing Marc Jacobs

• Andre Leon Talley will be wearing a custom cloak by Tom Ford

• Bee Shaffer is wearing Dior

• Linda Fargo is in custom design by The Baroness

• Alicia Keys and Jessica Pare are in Jason Wu

• Blake Lively and Rosie Huntington Whiteley will both be in Gucci

• Taylor Swift is in J. Mendel

• Renee Zellweger is in Prada

• Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are in Givenchy

• Amber Heard is in Pucci

• Cameron Diaz, Kristen Stewart and Dree Hemingway are in Stella McCartney

Any thoughts on how this year's Met Ball is shaping up?