On Tuesday night, the annual Victoria's Secret Fashion Show aired and it was, in a word, magnificent. Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima waxed poetic about life-changing jewel-encrusted bras, Lily Aldridge expounded on the importance of winking and kiss-blowing techniques, Karlie Kloss and Taylor Swift publicly BFF'd down a runway. It would have been damn near perfect if one mishap hadn't marred the entire night's proceedings.
They cut Ariana Grande getting smacked by Angel Wings!!!!!!!!!
Victoria's Secret, I may not know a lot, but I do know a few things: 1) Bras and underwear are not generally good Christmas gifts (with minor exceptions); 2) Harry Styles's birthday is Feb. 1; and 3) America wanted — no, needed — to see this iconic moment in entertainment history. I'm not saying that I threw things at my TV when I realized what you had done (because I didn't — I don't have that kind of money, c'mon) but I did frighten my roommate's dog with the sounds of anger I made.
It might not have fit into your narrative of perfect women prancing around in overly complicated underthings with their mile-long legs and impossibly toned post-baby abs and whatnot, but damnit, it was real. Even Grande herself expressed delight at having had the distinct pleasure of being #blessed in this way:
Then she got nominated for two Grammys and I guess that means you want to be taken seriously as an artist or something, because OH, how the tables turned.
And listen, I'm not saying there's a conspiracy here, but this intrepid reporter can't help but notice that it was none other than guilty Angel Elsa Hosk that got sent — dare I say, "banished"!? — to Idaho to "watch the show with contest winners."
Elsa, we're here for you; you stay warm in Idaho. We hear they have great potatoes there.