New York City writer, humorist and O.G. cool girl Fran Lebowitz sat front row at longtime friend Diane von Furstenberg's fall 2015 runway show, but comfortably distant from the rest of the paparazzi-hounded front row pack. Sporting her signature natty pinstripes, the "Progress" author and Vanity Fair best dressed list alum was quietly observing the scene — and composing some sort of hilarious sardonic commentary in her head, I imagined. After some deliberation with my own inner monologue (come on, she's intimidating!) I decided to take advantage of this wondrous highbrow fashion week opportunity and ask Lebowitz a few lowbrow questions of my own.
So, what are you looking forward to seeing most during this show?
I'm looking forward to it starting.
Oh, yeah. Should we take bets on when it'll start?
Yeah, let's see. You know, they used to start right on time. Oh yes. They used to start right.on.time. I'm guessing a minimum of 20 minutes. That's my guess.
What do you love most about fashion shows, you know, besides starting on time?
You know, I have to say — I know this is very unusual — but I'm actually very interested in clothes. I know that's not a reason anyone goes to fashion shows anymore, but I'm actually interested in clothes.
What do you think of the obsession with celebrities in the front row — and celebrities bringing their children to fashion shows?
I can't say that I think that children really, probably are enriched by going to a fashion show. I think you could wait. I don't see any children, but are there children here?
Not at this one, but everyone's been talking about how Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have been bringing their two-year old daughter to fashion shows.
I'm shocked because you would imagine they would be excellent parents. [Laughs] They may not be your average family.
And, in case you're wondering, Lebowitz was pretty much right on the money with her estimated show start time. The lights went down at exactly 22 minutes past the hour.
This interview has been edited and condensed.