We now live in a world where Miley Cyrus has hosted the Video Music Awards, just two years after she exploded onto the very same stage with Robin Thicke, a giant foam finger and the twerking that changed the very course of her career. On Sunday night, however, Cyrus proved to be a fully capable emcee, adding pithy dialogue when needed and keeping the party going when things got messy (i.e., when Nicki Minaj attempted to throw down the gauntlet). But let's be real: her frequent, costume changes truly stole the show — for us, at least.
Between Cyrus's preternatural affinity for nipple pasties and her recent penchant for wearing ridiculous, barely-there clothing, we knew that we were in for some batshit crazy fashion — the kind of stuff that's only appropriate for this very MTV-run occasion. And alas, things did get a little (okay, extremely) bananas — but it's nothing we weren't expecting. Read on for our thoughts on all of Cyrus's zany VMAs looks, ranked in order of craziness.
9. The Sequined Jumpsuit
Cyrus wore this flared, deep-cut one-piece to get the show started — and aside from a subtle Studio 54 vibe, it was actually (well, somewhat) wearable. We should really thank her for easing us into it.
8. The Silver Leotard
It's not that it wasn't risqué, because it absolutely was, but this creation was something that a) we imagine Cyrus wearing everyday, lazing around her house, and b) they likely sell at American Apparel. The tinsel-like overcoat, though, was stellar, and something we'd legitimately love to wear throughout the holiday party circuit come December.
7. The Barbie Interpretation
While being slightly reminiscent of Christina Aguilera's "Dirrrty" era, Cyrus went all Barbie on us in these low-slung vinyl (?) pants and embellished nipple pasties. The bedazzled sunglasses were a nice touch — and all very Moschino spring 2015.
6. The Face Replica
They say the eyes are the windows to... oh, forget it. Not only did this Emoji-like concoction feature a bandeau top fashioned to look like two fluttering doe eyes, but its skirt also mimicked a pair of cherry red Kylie Jenner-esque lips. Topical and creative.
5. The Naughty Go-Go Dancer
Because Cyrus could never go on stage looking like a plain ol' '60s go-go dancer, she had to go and add some of the riskiest cutouts known to womankind. For that, we applaud her. But at this point, why even bother with the skirt? Just talking logistics here, people.
4. The One-Legged Glitter Bomb
Otherwise known as: Miley and the Amazing Technicolor Jumpsuit.
3. The Rainbow Pop-Tart
Why? Why to any of this? (Except for the heart loafers, which, for the record, were adorable).
2. The High Fashion Pasty Alternative
If you're going to walk the red carpet for a major awards show you're hosting, you can't exactly wear a pair of nipple pasties you picked up on Hollywood Boulevard — no matter how much you'd like to. Thankfully, if you're someone as famous as Cyrus, Donatella Versace will create a custom couture alternative, just for you. That scenario alone is reason enough to get into show biz.
1. The Bubble Wrap
You know those clear plastic sheets that grandparents sometimes use to protect their couches from dirt and miscellaneous snack crumbs? That must have been the style Cyrus was going f0r with this transparent dress decked out in strategically positioned, semi-plush polka dots. How she was able to prevent a nip-slip with this look, in particular, can only be attributed to pure sorcery.