It has come to our attention that Molly Bair, the six-foot American model, does not exclusively wear capes in her duties walking the runway during fashion week. This is a problem, and one we would like your support in rectifying. As Bair demonstrated in closing Marc Jacobs at New York Fashion Week and Moschino on Thursday night in Milan (see Fig. 1 and 2, below), she excels in cape-wearing. It is our position that talent like this should not go wasted.
Some key figures whom Bair outstrips in the art of capery include: Bela Lugosi, Daenerys Targaryen and the Hamburglar. She ties with Solange Knowles. While there is no peer-reviewed research explaining why Bair wears a cape so well, we would speculate that it has something to do with her height (stupendous), default facial expression (peeved) and social media personality (ironically lowbrow — a striking contrast to the luxury cloaks she has been tasked with wearing, thereby adding nuance to our understanding of what it means to wear a giant cape). When wearing a floor-length cape, one should always seek to look regal and mad about it.
A member of Bair's agency, The Society, declined to comment on this position, to which we'll just say: stranger things have happened. We entreat you to sign your name in the comments section if you, too, support Molly Bair only ever wearing a cape on the runway. Stay tuned for information about our Kickstarter page (forthcoming).