Because marketing is powerful and I am weak, I couldn't resist heading over to Revolve's homepage after a morning spent checking out the floral lace-covered influencers at the retailer's Coachella desert house, which doubles as its branding mind control headquarters. Naturally, I clicked on the site's "Hot List" tab and was prompted to discover what kind of one-piece I am. (Spoiler alert: "the girl who wants to sea and be seen.")
And yet, nothing there was quite the right fit for my new non-festival festival future. Instead, I headed over to the "Living La Vida Boho" edit, where one scandalous floral mini led to the next, which led to an exciting discovery. Free People's Perfectly Victorian dress is my perfect entry point to the world of over-sexualized, folkloric dressing. It's black, like my soul and my hair, and has sleeves and fun, colorful embroidery. It's a little too short on the 5'9" model, which means it will be just above my knees and the perfect length for running and sweating around town on summer days. All I'm missing is a choker and a nipple ring, right?
Free People Perfectly Victorian dress, $168, available at Revolve.
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