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Literally No One Was Surprised by Last Night's 'Game of Thrones' but It Was Still Awesome

Let's talk about The Thing.

Spoilers, obviously.

Well, this episode certainly gives a new meaning to "skull-crushers" — may I never complain at the gym again. There's obviously The Thing we have to talk about, but there were plenty of other great moments (and by great, I mean jaw-droppingly awful) to talk about. From the Stark sisters' adventures to the pack of dogs that actually made dragons look like good pets, let's review what happened — and the best looks — in "Game of Thrones" season six's second episode, "Home."

"She Wasn't Exactly Dressed Like a Lady."

The show's newest power-duo has a bonding session. Photo: HBO

The show's newest power-duo has a bonding session. Photo: HBO

The most heartwarming moment of the night came courtesy of Brienne of Tarth and Lady Sansa, to whom it is revealed that her sister Arya is still alive. Sansa asks how she looked, and Brienne responds, "She looked good. She wasn't exactly dressed like a lady." Sansa, who used to care deeply about just such a thing and be terribly annoyed by her sister's unladylike habits, smiles for the first time in a while. 

"No, she wouldn't be," she says, feeling the fondness of someone who hasn't seen her family in a very long time. She's even sad that Reek is leaving, because Theon Greyjoy was the closest she'd gotten to family since everything went to hell.

The God of Many Faces Seems Like a Jerk, TBH

A girl could use some training from Daredevil. Photo: HBO

A girl could use some training from Daredevil. Photo: HBO

Meanwhile, Arya is still in the process of doing some kind of violent version of the training I imagine Southern pageant queens go through ("A girl wants world peace!"), which means she's been living on the street as a beggar in rags. Once a day, a girl with good braid game shows up and beats the shit out of her with a giant stick. 

This is all to strip her of her identity, and it seems to be working: At the end of the episode, she's allowed to come back to the House of Black and White. 

At the Red Keep, the Party's Officially Over

I've got a bad feeling about this.... Photo: HBO

I've got a bad feeling about this.... Photo: HBO

Cersei is looking incredibly somber in a dark, largely unembellished gown, which all things considered, is totally appropriate. 

Her daughter Myrcella is dead, she's suffered extreme humiliation, and things are not looking great for Team Lannister/Baratheon. When Tommen finally visits his mother, she doesn't seem terribly interested in him, asking if Myrcella was wearing the red or the gold gown. In typical Cersei fashion, she's pleased in the choice of gold — it was Myrcella's color, after all.

Poor Myrcella in her gold shroud. Photo: HBO

Poor Myrcella in her gold shroud. Photo: HBO

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Sweet King Tommen is doomed, and I'm telling you right now, it will be Cersei who does it. This season has really leaned into the whole matricide/patricide/fratricide thing, and her obsession with the prophecy really seems to be taking over. 

Winterfell Goes to the Dogs

And you thought your childbirth was hard. Photo: HBO

And you thought your childbirth was hard. Photo: HBO

Sorry for the bad pun. Things are really not going well for Ramsey Bolton, who lost both his lackey and his wife in one blow and whose legitimacy is threatened by a brand new baby brother. So when Roose Bolton advises his son not to act like a wild dog, he does literally that, stabbing his father and feeding his stepmother and new baby brother to his wild dogs. 

Walda Frey shows up, looking fresh from childbirth with damp, bedraggled hair and follows Ramsey into his dog pen, despite the fact that pretty much anyone in a 10 mile radius of Ramsey knows to stay way away from those dogs. You knew that baby wasn't going to make it from the start, but it was still a huge bummer. If Ramsey's storyline doesn't end in him being eaten by his own dogs, I'm gonna lose it. 

How to Befriend a Dragon in One Easy Step

The remaining of Daenarys's dragons have stopped eating, and Tyrion Lannister, who obviously knows everything, has just the solution: unchain them. Duh. Despite the fact that he's never been around a dragon in his life, he marches straight down into the dungeon, calms them with a story about the time he asked for a dragon for his birthday, and pops the pin out of one of the dragon's shackles. Dragons, being smarter than literally anyone on this show, learn quickly: The second dragon offers its neck, and now Tyrion is friends with both dragons. Like dressing up as a merchant to pass (mostly) unnoticed in Meereen, taming fire-breathing dragons comes naturally to Tyrion.

Melisandre Is Having a Tough Time

Melisandre doing the damn thing. Photo: Helen Sloan for HBO

Melisandre doing the damn thing. Photo: Helen Sloan for HBO

This is the most disheveled we've seen Melisandre, who is taking this whole "visions not coming to pass" thing really, really hard. She's typically pulled together and ready to seduce, but now she's buried herself beneath a pile of furs and, by the looks of it, stopped combing her hair. Honey, you have a necklace that makes you look a hundred years younger than you actually are, please pull your shit together and practice some of that sweet black magic on Jon Snow's corpse! 

After a pep talk from Ser Davos that includes the phrase, "I've seen you give birth to a demon made of shadows," Melisandre manages to pull herself away from her pity party to do The Thing to Jon Snow.

And Now, That Thing Everyone Knew Was Coming

Holy. Shit. 

I mean, no one should have been surprised that Jon Snow's hours-old corpse — inexplicably kept around unburnt despite the fact that everyone at Castle Black knows that's just asking for some zombie nonsense — would be reanimated, right? Especially considering every publication on the face of the planet has been speculating whether Jon Snow was actually dead or not for the past 10 months, because no one wants to feel joy or be surprised by anything anymore.

Still, this moment paid off — and not just because seeing Kit Harington shirtless is a real treat in a show filled with boobs. It was extra fitting that his incredible hair had to be a part of the spell. Of course, the person you bring back from the dead is never the person you knew before, so we'll just have to wait and see what Not-Dead Jon Snow is like in the coming episodes. 

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