Everyone Wonders If Jon Snow Is a God on 'Game of Thrones'

To which I say, "Same."
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Spoilers, obviously.

This is extremely gratuitous and you're welcome. Photo: Tumblr

This is extremely gratuitous and you're welcome. Photo: Tumblr

Well, as discussed last week, The Thing we all knew was going to happen to Jon Snow happened, and everyone is freaked out. The wildlings wonder if he is actually a god (something I have been asking since "Game of Thrones"'s first season, so welcome to the bandwagon) and he himself wonders why he's been brought back. But there's a lot more happening in Westeros than hot men waking up from the dead, friends. 

Let's catch up from the wintery woods of the North to the hot desert of the Dothraki sea in season six, episode three, "Oathbreaker."

Jon Snow Plays Double Jeopardy With the Night's Watch

This is the face of a man who has some serious questions. Photo: Helen Sloan/HBO

This is the face of a man who has some serious questions. Photo: Helen Sloan/HBO

Everyone is shocked that Jon Snow is back from the dead, especially Jon, who remembers dying, but nothing beyond that. The best part of this scene (besides, yes, a naked Kit Harington — I'm sorry to objectify, but this show owes us some man ass) is that the Red Woman seems most shocked of all. Melisandre's face is nothing but pure amazement that she actually managed to do something right for once. Maybe that means she'll pull herself together again soon.

After waking up naked in a room of his peers, also known as a recurring nightmare I have during New York Fashion Week, Jon wraps himself up in a coat that Ser Davos handily has nearby just in case his corpse should reanimate. There's a question of justice to attend to, and once Jon doles out the punishment for his own murder, he peaces out on the Night's Watch.

Snow OUT. Photo: Tumblr

Snow OUT. Photo: Tumblr

He hands over his official Lord Commander cape to Edd, telling him to wear it or burn it for all he cares (my recommendation would be to wear it as it looks really cold on the wall literally made of ice), but he's done. The fact that he's died defending the Night's Watch means his watch has ended, and he's free to leave the Wall and seek some vengeance, which is a handy bit of plot development. 

Cersei Lannister's Oldest Enemy Returns

She's really mad for someone with such great bone structure. Photo: Tumblr

She's really mad for someone with such great bone structure. Photo: Tumblr

Cersei is still really pissed, in case you thought, perhaps, a reunion with her only living child might have chilled her out, and she's on the warpath. The great thing about her cropped cut is that it only makes her look angrier and more badass. It's also a constant reminder of the humiliation she's only just suffered. The simpler hairstyle and her swirling grief means that she isn't even dressing as ornately as she typically does.

But, you know who still does?

The original HBIC of Westeros. Photo: Tumblr

The original HBIC of Westeros. Photo: Tumblr

Oh my God, I love Lady Olenna. Cersei decidedly does not love Lady Olenna, who is back in the Red Keep to attend to the fact that her granddaughter, aka the Queen, is locked up in some crazy religious prison. She's still representing her house sigil with a rose-festooned blazer, and this is a seriously snappy headpiece — almost as snappy as the burns Lady Olenna dishes out in less than five minutes. 

Grey Worm and Missandei Are Accidentally Really Funny

No mirth in Mereen. Photo: Tumblr

No mirth in Mereen. Photo: Tumblr

There are so many duos on this show who deserve their own miniseries, and after this episode, Grey Worm and Missandei just joined that list. There's a good bit of dark humor here courtesy of Tyrion, who tries to pull some fun from these two. Early in the episode, Varys asks how anyone deals with the heat wearing all that leather (which, funnily enough, is the exact same question I ask during September's Fashion Month schedule). It doesn't seem to bother Grey Worm or Missandei, who are both wearing matching leather bodices and no smiles. 

Arya's Hazing Comes to an End

All I can think about is how relieved Maisie Williams must have been to be free of those contacts. Photo: HBO

All I can think about is how relieved Maisie Williams must have been to be free of those contacts. Photo: HBO

The Girl With Good Braid Game has finally broken Arya with a combination of the giant stick beatings and smaller, truth-or-lie-based small stick beatings. A girl is no one, finally, which means she's allowed to have her eyesight back. Maybe now she'll realize she hasn't brushed her hair in months. 

Daenerys Gets Dressed Down

Hopefully she gets that necklace back, it looks custom. Photo: Helen Sloan/HBO

Hopefully she gets that necklace back, it looks custom. Photo: Helen Sloan/HBO

Daenerys thought name dropping her dead ex-husband would get her freed, but she done goofed. You see, around these parts, the widows of Great Khals are supposed to join the dosh khaleen in Vaes Dothrak. Instead, you may recall, Daenerys hatched some dragon eggs and then went around Slaver's Bay freeing up slaves. Her captors take her to the dosh khaleen, who immediately strip her of her now-ruined clothes and her dragon necklace. 

She looks PISSED. Photo: Getty Images

She looks PISSED. Photo: Getty Images

They hand her a robe made from what looks like brown sackcloth, a far cry from the finery she's been wearing in Meereen. She's really unhappy about it, but there may be unhappier news for her still: Since she didn't immediately join the dosh khaleen, there will have to be a discussion about her ultimate fate. One of those dragons sure would come handy about now. 

Holy Shit, You Forgot About These Guys Didn't You?

Theyyyyyyyy're back! Photo: Helen Sloan/HBO

Theyyyyyyyy're back! Photo: Helen Sloan/HBO

When Smalljon Umber pulled the sack off Osha's head, I let out a comically loud gasp. I hadn't forgotten about Osha and Rickon, whom we haven't seen since the third season, so much as I had forgotten that they could show back up at any moment. Of course, once Osha showed up, still looking every inch the wildling in piles of fur, it was obvious that the second sacked-head was Rickon Stark. Rickon looks much older than when we last saw him, and wilder, too: He's also wearing piles of fur, with a dirty face and matted-down hair that allude to his time in hiding. It will be interesting to see what those years in the wild have done to him, and what will happen to him now that he's in the clutches of Lord Ramsay Bolton. Let's hope what happened to Shaggydog isn't some kind of terrible foreshadowing. 

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