Everyone Is Preparing for War in the Season Six Finale of 'Game of Thrones'

There's a *lot* to talk about.
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Poor Tommen's suicide is probably already a meme. Photo: HBO

Poor Tommen's suicide is probably already a meme. Photo: HBO

Spoilers, obvi.

Damn, what a mic drop of an episode. "Game of Thrones" is revealing more and more that while all men must die — valar morghulis — the same is not true for all women (though some still have to face their gods. Sorry, Margaery!). Between Sansa and Lyanna Mormont in Winterfell and Daenerys approaching from the south, girls run the world of Westeros and it's the best plot twist of the series since Ned Stark had his head chopped off, honestly.

It was a great episode for fashion, too, leaving us wanting more. Let's recap everything we saw in the final episode of season six, "The Winds of Winter."

Pour One Out for Margaery

You tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter. Photo: HBO

You tried so hard, and got so far, but in the end, it doesn't even matter. Photo: HBO

In case you were wondering how Queen Margaery was going to get out of King's Landing alive, here's your answer: She's not! Poor girl. She schemed and nearly escaped, and was smart enough even in the end to realize that Cersei was screwing them all over, big time. She doesn't even get to die in her typical style, wearing a very covered up gown to the trials. She may have come ready to fight, but no amount of armor-like, rose-covered fabric could save her from the Wildfire explosion. 

I will rememmmmmberrr youuuuuuuu. Photo: Tumblr

I will rememmmmmberrr youuuuuuuu. Photo: Tumblr

Let's take a minute to remember her as she was: A tarted-up, highly-ambitious foil to Cersei.

Cersei, Man

I mean, real talk, that's a waste of good wine. Photo: HBO

I mean, real talk, that's a waste of good wine. Photo: HBO

What do you even say about Cersei at this point? She blew up the Sept — and with it, the High Sparrow, the Faith and the Tyrell family — which lead to the suicide of her only remaining child. She's left the Septa of "Shame!" fame at the hands of the Mountain. And most importantly, she's taken her place on the Iron Throne.

[Kanye West's "Heartless" plays in the background]. Photo: Tumblr

[Kanye West's "Heartless" plays in the background]. Photo: Tumblr

But damn, she looked good doing it. As many on the internetz were quick to point out, Cersei was on that Rhythm Nation vibe. When we saw her dressing in a heavy black gown with a silver chain, it was easy to imagine she was preparing for a metaphorical battle in her trial. But of course, it ended up being so much more than that.

A woman with nothing left to lose now sits on the Iron Throne, NBD. Photo: HBO

A woman with nothing left to lose now sits on the Iron Throne, NBD. Photo: HBO

It's interesting that when Cersei finally gets the crown, she looks the most masculine we've ever seen her. Her hair is still cropped short, and her shoulders are clad in armor. Even her stiff, dark dress has the feel of chain mail or iron. Even Jaime looks nervous — as he probably should be.

Meanwhile, in Dorne

"Have you heard the good word of our Lady and Savior Danaerys Stormborn?" Photo: HBO

"Have you heard the good word of our Lady and Savior Danaerys Stormborn?" Photo: HBO

You forgot about Dorne, didn't you?! Ellaria Sand and the Sand Snakes have invited Lady Olenna, who is pretty damn pissed that Cersei just killed her entire lineage with one blow, to come chat about how to get revenge. The most savage women on this show are teaming up and I. AM. LIVING! 

Mom! Photo: Tumblr

Mom! Photo: Tumblr

Even in mourning, Lady Olenna looks incredible in shades of deep green and black, her house sigil still embroidered everywhere. Ellaria, also still in mourning, looks equally fabulous with her bobbed hair. The Sand Snakes get owned pretty viciously for looking less than ladylike, still clad in their ready-for-war gold and leather outfits. "Obara, you look like an angry little boy," Olenna says to one. "Don't presume to tell me what I need." Honestly, I would pay for an offshoot of this series featuring just these women in a "Golden Girls" style comedy.

The Red Woman Finally Gets Hers

Okay, you say tomato, I say tomahto. Photo: Tumblr

Okay, you say tomato, I say tomahto. Photo: Tumblr

Melisandre finally pulls herself together, takes a shower, brushes her hair and puts on that magic necklace of hers, only for Ser Davos to show up and ask if he could please hang her for murder. Don't get me wrong, burning a kid is pretty messed up, even by Westeros standards, but Melisandre is finally kind of getting things right! She brought Jon back from the dead! Does that count for nothing?!

It counts for something, as Jon allows her to ride south alive — albeit immediately, and with the promise that if she ever returned, she would be hanged. I doubt this will be the last we see of the Red Woman; she's still alive, which leaves her in play, but she also hasn't revealed the secret behind that choker of hers to anyone else — and why show us if it doesn't become important later?

Kween in the North

Snow hair is like the opposite of beach hair. Photo: Tumblr

Snow hair is like the opposite of beach hair. Photo: Tumblr

I'm going to level with you: I'm a little worried for Sansa. Yes, she's shown herself to be a capable and cunning fighter, just like the rest of them. But Littlefinger isn't taking too kindly to constant rejection, and we've all seen what his machinations bring. (Bad shit, mostly.) If the truth about Jon Snow's lineage (more on that later) comes to light, she's next in line for Winterfell — and as much as I'd like to see Sansa as Queen in the North, when was the last time "Game of Thrones" gave us that kind of happiness? She tells Littlefinger she's done being a child, and indeed, she looks more like Catelyn Stark than ever; her hair is done in the same way, and she's dressed in the somber, adult garments appropriate for the Lady of Winterfell — not to mention the long, hard winter that has finally arrived.

Lady Mormont Tho

I'd vote for her. Photo: Tumblr

I'd vote for her. Photo: Tumblr

Listen, this girl is the true MVP and I love it. A little girl just shamed the hell out of some grown ass men, and looked like a leader while doing it. In her all-black, no-nonsense leather and fur outfit, Lyanna Mormont makes such an interesting contrast to Sansa, whom, at the same age, was more worried about how she looked than the state of politics. Being placed in a position of power at a young age will do that to you, I guess.

R + L = JON SNOW FO SHO

Here, pretend this is your baby Ned! Thanks in advance! Okay, bai! Photo: HBO

Here, pretend this is your baby Ned! Thanks in advance! Okay, bai! Photo: HBO

Another fan theory was all but confirmed with this Bran-brought flashback scene. Ned Stark ('memba him?!) shows up just in time for his sister Lyanna to die. Bless him, but I don't understand how it took Ned so long to figure out something was seriously wrong considering the buckets of blood covering the bed and the lower regions of Lyanna's gown — but then he pulled off the greatest fake baby story in the history of Westeros, so we'll let it pass.

V subtle transition. Photo: Tumblr

V subtle transition. Photo: Tumblr

Anyway, did anyone else think that baby's eyes looked kinda purple? Targaryen blood FTW. 

Arya Brings Her Revenge Tour Back to Westeros

A GIRL IS ARYA STARK. Photo: Tumblr

A GIRL IS ARYA STARK. Photo: Tumblr

A girl may be Arya Stark, but a girl also remembers the tricks she learned in Braavos. At first, I thought perhaps the pretty servant girl had been paid off by the Lannisters to serve old Walder Frey a pie of all his children (which, oh my God, never eat a pie in Westeros). But then she pulled her face back to reveal a plainly dressed Arya, who is back and badder than ever. Her hair is the simplest it's been yet, no longer pretending to be a Braavosi, the Waif, a Northerner, or a boy named Arry — she's just Arya. And she is here to murder you, probably. 

O Shit, Whaddup

The "Game of Thrones" fan-favorite dream team. Photo: HBO

The "Game of Thrones" fan-favorite dream team. Photo: HBO

Finally, things are coming together for Daenerys. She has the Unsullied and the Dothraki, a fleet of ships from Yara Greyjoy, and thanks to Varys, the support of her first Westerosi families. She's appointed Tyrion Lannister, probably the smartest man in Westeros, as her Hand. There's one hiccup: She can't ride into Westeros with a lover. Daario has to stay behind and manage the newly named Bay of Dragons. "Do you know what frightens me?" she asks Tyrion. "I said farewell to a man who loves me. A man I thought I cared for. And I felt nothing." (Is it because you're in love with Yara, though?).

Squad goals, etc. Photo: Tumblr

Squad goals, etc. Photo: Tumblr

She sets sail for Westeros with her #squad, and leaves behind the romantic, draped gown she wore during times of peace in Meereen. It's time for her to once again don her dragon-scaled dress, the one that's equal parts gorgeous and badass. 

See you next year, Dany and friends. Can't wait to see what kind of havoc you'll wreak on Westeros. XOXO, Three-Eyed Raven.

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