We had to wait a full 54 minutes before one Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter (and two twin fetuses) began her 2017 Grammy Awards performance, but it was worth every single one of those 3,240 seconds we spent asking, "Where's Beyoncé?!" in Slack. After an introduction from The Queen Mother Tina Beyincé-Lawson, Beyoncé — who's nominated for nine Grammys on Sunday — arrived on-stage to serenely execute what GQ's Caity Weaver so aptly called a "prenatal yoga concert." We felt at once calm and electric, like Beyoncé first wrapped us up in a warm linen sheath before whispering stirring Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie prose directly into our ears. Mmmmm.
With that maternal glow in her corner, Beyoncé didn't beat around the bush with her clothing choices: Her pregnancy is the best thing to happen to the collective United States of America in 2017, and she knows it. In a performance celebrating motherhood, Beyoncé played a fertility goddess (the specific lineage of which was unclear) to perform "Love Drought" and "Sandcastles" from "Lemonade."
Her segment opened with an pre-taped clip that showed her, beaming and goddess-like, in a chainmail bikini and celestial headpiece alongside Tina and her daughter, the otherwise Prince-tributing Blue Ivy.
The intro video ended, suddenly revealing Beyoncé in a naked dress specially designed for all of her pregnant-with-twins needs. Her background dancers kept with the theme, too, wearing airy Grecian gowns and stacks of gold chokers. They were so gentle, at one point helping Beyoncé walk down a flight of stairs, just as proper ladies-in-waiting would.
I mean, they better be gentle. Those are Beyoncé's twins in there.