Welcome to Shop It Out!, a series dedicated to answering life's big, messy questions in the only way we know how: with shopping.
Q: Do you ever wonder if you care too much about a single living being? Not, like, your dog or your mom or someone else that shares your ancestral bloodline, but a 23-year-old glam-rock pop prince with flowing locks and flecks of glitter running through his veins? Does it ever bring you comfort just knowing that this perfect-souled, golden-hearted cherub is prancing around somewhere in the flesh at this exact moment?
What I'm trying to say is: Harry Styles's first single as a solo artist drops tomorrow, and I'm a ball of nerves. If my emotions were a spool of yarn, the string would have completely unraveled by now. What's happening to me?
My dear, sweet PFEB,
After weeks — no, months — of obsessing, planning and theorizing, the day is finally here: Harry Styles is releasing a single, "Sign of the Times." This isn't a drill, so we hope you've been practicing what we've been talking about and that you took the day off work tomorrow. (We tried, but Alyssa said no.)
No matter how much prep work you did, however, it's very likely that you're not ready for the solo stylings of real-life-angel Harry Styles. It's okay, neither are we. We're doing the best we can though. We've loaded up on calming oils for our deskside humidifier, carved out space on our calendar Friday to hide in the bathroom and listen to "Sign of the Times" again (don't tell Alyssa, please) and stashed tissues everywhere within arms reach so that when we're overwhelmed with feelings, we can pretend we're having an allergy attack. Oh, like you've never felt so proud of a complete stranger that you could burst. Okay.
While we wait by our computers and phones and smoke signals for the first listen of "Sign of the Times," we figured we might as well do some shopping. It's kind of our job, right? Of course, we had Harry Styles on the brain the whole time, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. You know, people are comparing his new sound to David Bowie and Queen. That's pretty major! And he had a hand in writing some of One Direction's best songs, so you just know it has to be good. Even if it's not good, we're going to say it's good because Harry Styles is a pure cupcake that is somehow sugar-, dairy- and gluten-free but tastes even better than a regular cupcake, and he deserves to have nice things like a successful solo career. But it's going to be good.
Anyway, Harry Styles is also a major style icon, so having him on the brain while shopping leads to some pretty great finds from brands like Saint Laurent, Gucci and Burberry. God, remember when Harry Styles sat front row at Burberry and pink flower petals fell from the ceiling to land gracefully in his enviably great hair? What a moment that was! And then there's the time he auctioned off the leopard-printed Burberry shirt off his back for a good cause. We don't deserve Harry Styles, to be completely honest! Like, 2017 has just been a start-to-finish trash fire and here we are getting a Harry Styles single. What a world.
But we're still capable of being "professional" "adults!" (That's why we're coming to work tomorrow, Alyssa.) We put this post together to help you, PFEB, prepare for Harry Styles's imminent new single by shopping it out. Our math didn't account for getting a music video to go along with it, so if we are #blessed with the double whammy, you're on your own. Either way, we are about to live in a world where Harry Styles is a solo artist, and we can all agree that's a good thing. God bless Harry Styles.
(Say Harry Styles again.)
1. Gucci Ruffled Wool and Silk-Blend Jacket, $2,200, available at Net-a-Porter: Might we suggest starting the day out by a) putting on clothes, and b) in doing so, paying homage to Styles in his vintage-tinged menswear best? Suits are good; Gucci suits are better. If you have the means to obtain Gucci, by all means, get out there and get yourself some Gucci. Live a little.
2. Gucci Wool and Silk-Blend Crepe Flared Pants, $980, available at Net-a-Porter: You need to wear pants if you don't want to get arrested for what old men in ties often call "public indecency," or whatever.
3. Bolt Handler Tall With Zipper, 298, available at Modern Vice: Styles and ankle boots are about as synonymous as using the term "Chella" unironically and the Snapchat dog-face filter. We don't need to say anymore about any of that.
4. Fill in the Love Journal, $15.99, available at Anthropologie: Here's a convenient notebook for you to transcribe all your feelings about "Sign of the Times" by simply playing ad libs. The cover reads, "What I Love About [Blank], by [Blank]." How easy! Look out for "What I Love About *Chicken Scratch* 'Sign of the Times' by Harry Styles, by Maura and Tyler." We'll do the Twitter thing and write you a haiku if you preorder.
6. Amika Perk Up Dry Shampoo, $22, available at Sephora: If you'll be staying up all night to either wait for the single to drop or to listen to it for hours on end, turn to this delicious-smelling dry shampoo (a Fashionista favorite!) for hair help.
7. Love Box Bag, $1,790, available at Saint Laurent: This bag looks pretty miniature, but you could stash a fair amount of tissues in here, as needed.
8. Burberry Wool and Cashmere-Blend Coat, $1,995, available at Net-a-Porter: Channel dogs and their calming thunder blankets with this Burberry jacket that resembles an exorbitantly expensive wool throw that Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen would jointly own.
9. Lash Alert Mascara, $26, available at Eyeko: If you're in the market for waterproof mascara, this Alexa Chung-approved vat is one of Steph's favorites. Not only do we trust Steph with our life as far as beauty recommendations are concerned, but Chung and Styles are friends. Fate!
10. Listen Up Ear Buds — Chill Pill, $20, available at Ban.Do: Your ears, like your nervous system, deserve a chill pill. Feed it to them.
Stay tuned for next week's Shop It Out!: What Do I Wear to Combat the Additional Anxiety I Feel When Viewing Footage of Harry Styles Dangling From a Helicopter in the Name of His Art?
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