SelfieFeet Is the Selfie Product Creeps Have Been Waiting For

THIS IS A VERY BAD IDEA.
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SelfieFeet

Stoppppppppppppp.

Crowdfunding sites like Kickstarter have helped zillions of would-be entrepreneurs turn their ideas into reality. But that doesn't mean all of those ideas are good. In fact, some of them are very, very bad. SelfieFeet is one of those. 

I learned about SelfieFeet Monday morning on NBC's "Today," when your buddy Al Roker introduced it to America as "the next thing in selfie technology." Sounds kind of exciting, right? I mean, assuming you're into very serious and important technological advances, which... who isn't?

I'll cut to the chase: SelfieFeet is a phone clamp that straps onto your shoe. That's it. It comes with a Bluetooth-enabled remote that allows you to wirelessly take photos on your phone, while it's attached to your foot. "It's young, fun and cool," the promo video proclaims. And just in case you had any doubts, "Yes, this is real!" 

According to UK-based creator Quin Media Group, SelfieFeet — which has an expected retail price of $17 — is a necessary improvement on "annoying" selfie sticks, which have been banned in some restaurants and museums. And, more importantly, they are "just not cool."

But you know what is cool, apparently? Making a product that all but caters to peeping Toms, creeps, sex offenders and upskirt voyeurs. Not to get all Nancy Grace up in here, but like...?

So, am I crazy, or just being totally paranoid? Mmmm, maybe: "Today" anchor Sheinelle Jones was apparently all about SelfieFeet. "You know what, I like it! I think that it's better than a selfie stick," she said, after a producer tested it out on-camera. "I think this is the next big thing." But even the typically G-rated Mr. Roker saw the product's skeevy potential, saying: "Of course if there's anyone wearing dresses around, you want to avoid [whoever's wearing one]... It's either a shot of your knee or of your crotch — what's the point?" Preach, Al!

Picture this: You're standing in a crowded subway car. You're walking your dog. You're at a concert. You're waiting in line at Starbucks. You're doing literally anything that people do all the time, and you notice that the person standing next to you is holding what appears to be a car remote. But they're nowhere near a car. Even if they are near a car, whatever, that doesn't matter! The main point is, you look down and they've got a freaking phone or a GoPro (yes, those fit into the SelfieFeet holster, too) strapped to their foot, and it's angled just-so, and... I don't feel the need to go on; you know what I'm getting at. 

All I'm saying is: Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan taught us many moons ago about the dangers of improperly exiting a vehicle. Now we have to worry about standing upright, too?

Thankfully, we may not actually have to. SelfieFeet is still in its infancy, and currently has garnered a little less than half of its funding goal of $1,286 (which, in itself, seems really low and random). If it does reach its goal, they're expected to start shipping out this July. 

Unfortunately, there's no word yet on whether Quin Media Group plans to do background checks on purchasers of SelfieFeet — but it might not be the worst idea. Until then, I'll be wearing bike shorts under all my skirts this summer. Thanks, SelfieFeet!

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