Sunday's episode of "Game of Thrones" may have been all about Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen finally meeting, but, as is her wont, Cersei Lannister upstaged the show by exacting revenge on pretty much everyone.
The notably chill, even-keeled person and current Queen of Westeros was feeling pretty grim until her would-be suitor Euron Greyjoy returned to the Red Keep with his promised gift: Ellaria Sand and her daughter Tyene. And Cersei was ready for the moment, changing out of her standard-issue, armor-clad black robe into a satin gown complete with sharp spikes and even sharper pleating. Damn, girl! Is that a McQueen?
The spike and sparkle detailing across Cersei's gown is even prettier in the torchlight of the dungeon where she's keeping Ellaria and Tyene. Because Cersei never met a murder she didn't love to just one-up, she decides to rip a page from Ellaria's book of killer style (haha, get it?) and swipes on some poisoned lipstick with which she deals the death blow to Ellaria's daughter. It's enough to make a girl want to switch to lip gloss forever.
But across Westeros, poison was bringing Cersei one final blow. After suffering defeat at the hands of Jaime Lannister and the Lannister army that had been moved to Highgarden (thus thwarting Daenerys's forces at Casterly Rock), longtime foe Olenna Tyrell submits to her death — but not without getting the final word. After downing her poison, she confesses to Jaime that it was she who poisoned that "cunt" Joffrey at his wedding. "Tell Cersei," she says. "I want her to know it was me."
Mic drop, Lady Tyrell is outta here.
Stay tuned for our coverage of next week's episode in which we discuss the benefits of non-poisoned lipstick and how seawater can give your hair great texture, but it can never wash away the shame of abandoning your sister to your crazy uncle. (THEON, YOU BLEW IT AGAIN.)