1. Lisa, don’t you think there’s a reason you’ve been modeling since age 12 and still aren’t famous? 2. Wonder how these girls feel about "real blogger" action? Better than "fake" blogger? Or just modeling? 3. Does anyone else find Laura’s accent super endearing? 4. Did these girls really not know Tyra had a book out until now?
1. Can we place bets now that Shannon goes home because she won’t take her clothes off? (again?) 2. Is anyone else reading André’s live tweets? I quote: “Does Jay Emanuel have a special hairspray to keep that hair straight up. It never moves. Top Model creative Wow.” Yes, André. Yes. 3. Have you ever seen anything more appropriate than models posing in a bowl of salad? 4. Is it just me or are those bathing suits really fugly? 5. Has the word “dragalicious” really been uttered twice already? It’s not even halfway through the episode. #WordAbuse
1. Wait, I recognize that staircase… is this the same house from Flavor of Love?? 2. Alexandria, other than like, sushi at Nobu, what masterpiece is made in 20 minutes? 3. Is “pop ledem” like booty tooch? Is this like ANTM mind control? 4. Tyra, how many schoolgirls did you scalp for those pigtails? 5. Anyone else see Game seriously feelin’ Allison?
1. Why is this show all of a sudden so concerned with branding girls who aren't actual models yet? No one wants a perfume made by someone who was almost a Top Model. 2. How does Allison still manage to come off as an adorable little doll even after naming her perfume “Honey Blood”? 3. Is that Eva, the ex-Top Model, or Eve, the rapper? 4. Is Lisa drunk? 5. Is anyone else a little turned on by Nigel frolicking in a bathtub yelling “I’m smitten”?
1. Why haven’t they always done this little intro segment immediately after the previous week’s judging? Tensions are so high, it’s a drama gold mine. 2. WOW how apparent is it in this beach football game that all these girls dropped serious weight since the season began? Shannon is a twig. 3. One more time for me Nigel? “Rather nice bling.” 4. André WHAT are you wearing? Is that one of those controversial American Apparel “Conical Asian Hats”? 5. So is this Tyra Cam is to remind everyone that, even if she’s not physically present, Tyra is still all around us?
1. For real, who would win if it came to fisticuffs—Bianca or Lisa? 2. Which carousel do you prefer? Louis Vuitton spring 2012 or ANTM's with the Kardashians? 3. Do you think any of these girls realize that, if they do in fact become “real models,” they will have to do a lot worse things in heels than stepping onto a moving carousel?
1. I suppose Kayla's fake OD on ibuprofen and wine is the token hospital visit this season? 2. How much do you want to bet that those three girls are still awake at 2:12am because they were drunk eating? (See: hidden pint of ice cream). 3. Anthony Zuiker as the celeb guest star? They are really clutching at straws here. 4. Ladies, are you really that dumbfounded by the words methamphetamine and barbiturates? I know they’re long, but come on. Sound it out.
1. Can Kristen Cavallari answer the age old question: “How do you keep from going from reality show to reality show?” (You don’t! The reality TV vortex is inescapable!). 2. Mario Lopez WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 3. Wait, more fan involvement? And they’re dumping on Alexandria again! So… why is she still here? 4. “I know how to conduct myself—bitch, I worked at a bank!” Are you serious, Angelea?
1. The theme of the cycle is “over the top"--isn’t that redundant? 2. Bianca signed with Ford and Lisa recorded an album? Strange things no one knew. Also, why is Lisa here? Isn’t she like, 40? 3. How did Tyra manage to get such great prizes? Italian Vogue spread (one online and one in the mag), a spread in Beauty in Vogue, an Express campaign plus the ush Covergirl contract and agency gig. Damn. 4. Is it fair to say Jay Manuel has been doing the blue hair thing since way before it was cool? 5. Brittany had plastic surgery (this could be a statement)?