Swaddled by a throng of thrusting, fist-pumping lady dancers, 67-year-old Cher hobbled around the stage for a full three minutes and 27 seconds to her new song "Woman's World" while wearing parachute pants, a bondage-style bustier, several harnesses, a jacket covered in bathroom tiles, and a face from 30 years ago.
But the real perplexity lies in how Cher managed to stay so focused on the track's complex lyrics throughout it all, what with that whole strobe lights situation, Adam Levine's striking good looks smizing at her from the audience, and two puppies play-fighting atop her non-aging head.
